Iris
by birdee18
Summary: Bella is the shy new girl in town. Edward is the moody loner with a tragic past. Can they help each other overcome adversity, or does fate have other plans? Title comes from the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
1. Chapter 1

**All right, I'm going to try this again. I posted this story a while back, but I wasn't feeling any love for it. I pulled it, but it stuck with me and wouldn't go away. Maybe this time it'll catch on. Let me know what you think, please! Thanks to my beautiful beta BITTENEV who is not only one of my best friends but also one of the best betas in the universe. **

**The song for this chapter is "I'm Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own very little.**

**Chapter 1—****I'm Only Happy When It Rains**

"Are you ready for your first day?"

My father's voice brought me out of my reverie. "I'm sorry, Dad, what did you say?"

Charlie just chuckled. "I asked if you were ready for your first day of school. You seemed a million miles away."

I shook my head to clear it. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"I think you'll like Forks High. It's small, and you'll do great. I think you'll like it a lot better than that huge school you went to in Phoenix."

I smiled for my father's benefit, but I was already convinced I'd hate Forks High. I couldn't find my niche back in Phoenix when I went to school with 3000

kids. How was I going to find it in a school with a student body of 300?

I had only been in Forks for two days, and I was already regretting my decision to move here. My mother had remarried and decided to do some traveling with her new husband, a minor league baseball player. Mom felt guilty about leaving me, so after much discussion I decided to move to the gloomy town of Forks, WA, to live with my dad. It just so happened that my dad, Charlie Swan, was the Forks chief of police and was very well known. I had a bad feeling that people were going to stare and point a lot.

I also missed the warmth of Phoenix. Forks was overcast most of the time, and I hated it. The gloomy weather usually affected my mood. I was just starting the second semester of my junior year, and I had no clue how I was going to survive a year and a half of this.

Charlie's voice once again broke into my thoughts. "Be sure to look for Alice Cullen at school. I know she'll be excited to see you."

"Who?" I asked, slightly confused.

"You remember Alice. She's Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's daughter," he explained. "You two used to play together when you were little. The Cullens are good friends. Carlisle and I go fishing and camping, and Esme takes pity on me and feeds me a few times a week. Alice is a good kid, and so is her brother Emmett. You'll like them a lot."

I just smiled and nodded. I really didn't remember Alice at all. Then again, I had blocked out most of my memories of visiting my father in Forks. I loved Charlie and loved spending time with him, but I hated being in Forks. For the last four years, our time together was spent vacationing somewhere warm and pleasant. As happy as I was to spend time with Charlie, I felt like I was being exiled to my own personal hell.

Charlie stood up from the kitchen table and brought his dishes to the sink. "Time for me to head out. I'll see you at the diner this evening."

"Really, Dad, I can cook for us," I insisted. "We don't have to go out."

"Nonsense, Bells. It's your first day of school here. We should celebrate." I rolled my eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Charlie. "Bella, I know you're not happy about going to Forks High, but keep an open mind about it. I think you'll learn to like it if you give it a chance."

I suddenly felt awful. Charlie only wanted me to be happy, and I was sabotaging it. I didn't want him to think I felt that way about him. I really did love my dad.

"I'll try," I promised.

"That's my girl. Have a great day." Charlie lightly ruffled my hair before he left.

I left the house not long after Charlie. I wanted to allow myself enough time to check out the school before class began. I got into the red truck Charlie had bought for me. The truck was ancient, but I absolutely loved it. Charlie's friend Billy Black had sold it to him. Billy lived on the Quileute reservation at LaPush and was no longer able to drive. Despite the fact that the truck was so old, it ran pretty well thanks to Billy's son Jacob, who had totally rebuilt the engine.

It took me less than five minutes to get to school. It was still a little early, so I had no trouble finding a parking spot. I took a deep breath before I headed to the school office.

In the office I was greeted by a middle-aged woman with very red hair.

"Good morning, honey," she said cheerfully. "How can I help you?"

"I'm new here. I'm—

"You must be Isabella Swan," she said, cutting me off.

I just nodded and let the secretary, who I later learned was named Mrs. Cope, chatter on about the school and what I could expect. She gave me my schedule, a map of the school, and my locker assignment before wishing me good luck on my first day.

The first bell had rung, so I made my way to homeroom. I had my nose in my map and nearly knocked someone over as I rounded a corner.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry," I apologized.

The girl who I had nearly taken out just smiled and waved it off. "It's OK," she said. "No harm done."

This girl was tiny, barely five feet tall, and her long black hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. Her big blue eyes were lively, and they immediately widened in recognition.

"Bella? Bella Swan? Is that you?"

I just stood there for a moment trying to place who this girl was and how she knew me. I hadn't been to Forks in years. Then I remembered my conversation with Charlie at breakfast. "Alice Cullen?"

"Yes!" she squealed as she grabbed me in a huge hug. She was freakishly strong for such a small person. "It's been forever! I've been so excited to see you every since Charlie said you were moving here!"

I didn't like to draw attention to myself, so I was a little uncomfortable with Alice's display. No one really seemed to notice, though, which made me wonder if Alice was always this exuberant. I was pretty quiet and wasn't sure if I could handle a friend who was so outgoing.

"Let me see your schedule," Alice said. I handed it over, and she began to squeal again. "We have a couple of classes together, first period English and fourth period math. Yay!"

Before I knew it, Alice was dragging me off to our first class. I introduced myself to the teacher, and he gave me a class syllabus. When I went to take a seat, Alice waved and pointed to the seat next to her. I sat down, and she introduced me to the two girls sitting behind her.

"This is Bella Swan," she told them excitedly. "We used to play together when we were little. Bella, these are my friends Angela Weber and Nessie Wolf ."

"Hi, Bella! Glad to meet you!" Nessie seemed as excitable as Alice, and I wondered if I could really handle two friends like that. She was also a rather small girl, and I wondered how these little people had so much energy. Nessie's auburn curls bounced excitedly as she spoke.

Thankfully Angela seemed quiet. She was definitely taller than the other two and had light brown hair and a warm smile. I liked her immediately.

Class began, so our conversation was cut short. The class seemed pretty easy, especially since I had already read several of the assigned novels. English was my favorite subject, so I was sure I'd enjoy it.

The morning flew by pretty quickly. Nessie and I had second period American history together. She chatted animatedly the whole way to class as everyone stopped to stare at me, the new girl. In a school as small as Forks High, anyone new stood out.

Alice insisted that I sit with her at lunch. She led me to a table that already had several people sitting there: Angela and her boyfriend Ben, Nessie, and a boy and girl I hadn't met yet.

"Bella, this is my brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie." Although Emmett appeared to be about a foot and a half taller, it was obvious he and Alice were brother and sister. He had curly black hair, big blue eyes like Alice, and a mischievous smile. He looked as if he was fun to be around.

Rosalie, however, seemed aloof and barely acknowledged me. I tried not to be judgmental, but her long blonde hair and supermodel looks screamed "bitch" to me.

We were soon joined by a tall, handsome blonde guy who reminded me of a surfer. Alice happily introduced him to me. "This is my boyfriend, Jasper Hale."

Jasper shook my hand and asked me how my first day was going. He and Rosalie were twins, which surprised me since he was so friendly. Everyone at our table but Rosalie was friendly, and I found myself falling into easy conversation with them.

All too soon lunch was over, and it was time for fifth period biology.

"My cousin Edward is in that class," Alice said as we got up from our table. "Maybe you'll get to meet him."

Emmett laughed. "I doubt it. Edward isn't exactly Mr. Personality these days."

Alice glared at her brother. "Em, he's our cousin. You could be a little nicer."

Emmett held up his hands defensively. "Hey, I love the guy like a brother, but you have to admit he hasn't been very social lately."

"Can you blame him?" Alice asked. "If you'd been through what Edward's been through, would you be Mr. Sunshine?"

I was intrigued about this cousin Edward and his issues, but it was class time. Angela and Ben had biology with me, so they walked me to class. I introduced myself to Mr. Banner, and, after giving me my textbook, he directed me to the only open seat in the classroom.

I sat at my lab table and found myself sitting next to the most beautiful creature I had ever seen . His untidy bronze hair was striking against his porcelain skin and emerald green eyes. Even though he was sitting, I could tell he was tall and lean and well built. I tried not to drool, and I hoped he couldn't hear me gasp at his beauty. He was just perfect. I was completely rendered speechless. How did I get so lucky to have this Greek god as a lab partner?

"Hi," I said shyly once I found my voice, not sure how to approach this Adonis but not wanting to seem unfriendly.

He responded by giving me a cold stare and turning away from me. I looked around to see if there was possibly something around me that could have affected him that way. Nope. Just me. I tried again.

"Hi, I'm Bella."

"I know who you are," he snapped.

I just sat there with my mouth open and wondered how he could be so rude. As Mr. Banner began lecturing, I noticed my partner scooting his stool further away from me. I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks and tried not to cry. Tears were my usual response to anger, and I really didn't want this idiot to see my cry. I was livid. I hadn't done anything but say hello to this guy, yet he couldn't stand me for some reason. He was stiff and rigid throughout the whole lecture, and when the bell rang he practically ran out of the room. I just stood there in shock.

"Bella, are you OK?" Angela had walked up behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I just can't believe how rude this guy was," I seethed.

"Edward Masen? Yeah, he's not always friendly," Angela replied.

"Edward? Alice's cousin Edward?" It all started to make sense to me.

Angela nodded. "He's had it rough lately, but it's no excuse to be rude."

"What's his problem?" I asked as we walked to our next class. "Why does he live with the Cullens?"

"His parents died, so he moved here to Forks," Angela explained. "I know it has to be hard on him, but he doesn't have to be so unfriendly. You've seen how great Alice and Emmett are. Alice is an amazing friend. You'd think some of it would rub off on Edward."

I wanted to talk to Angela some more, but we had reached out last class of the day—gym. In Phoenix I was only required to take two years of gym. Forks High, however, required four years. Between this and Edward Masen, I was sure someone was out to get me.

As I expected, gym was a disaster. I was forced to play volleyball even though I was sure I'd injure someone. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt, especially the poor guy who got hit in the head by my serve. The highlight of my day was when the coach sent us to the locker room to get dressed.

The final bell rang at 2:30, and I hightailed it out of the school as fast as I could. I didn't want to run into Alice or anyone else I had met today. I just wanted this day to be over. Unfortunately, I wasn't meeting Charlie at the diner until 5:00. I went home for a bit to do some homework, but I couldn't get my mind off of Edward Masen. I had no idea why he had gotten under my skin so badly.

I was relieved when it was finally time to meet Charlie. He was already at the diner when I arrived, but fortunately he hadn't been waiting long.

"So how was your day?" Charlie asked after we had ordered.

"Pretty good," I lied. "My classes seem easy, and I met a few people."

Charlie nodded. "Did you see Alice?"

"Yeah. I met her this morning. We have a couple of classes together, and I sat with her at lunch. I met Emmett and some of their friends." I paused for a moment. "I also met Edward."

"Nice kids, all of them," Charlie said.

"I don't know," I contradicted. "Edward wasn't very friendly."

"He really is a good kid," Charlie insisted. "He's just been through a lot, losing his parents and all. You'll like him once you get to know him."

I doubted that, but I didn't feel like arguing with my father.

Charlie continued. "Esme Cullen called today. She invited us to dinner tomorrow. You can hang out with Alice outside of school and perhaps see that Edward isn't so bad."

Great. My own father was taking up for Edward Masen. I could deal with Alice and her endless supply of energy, but her cousin was another story. Edward annoyed me, yet for some strange reason I couldn't get him out of my mind. He had been rude to me, though. I was nothing but nice, yet he chose to treat me terribly and ignore me. We'd have to work together as lab partners, but that didn't mean we'd have to be friends. I finally decided to make my life easy and just dislike him. I only hoped I could stick to that decision.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all who have reviewed and favorited Iris! You've made me very happy! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well. We'll find out a little more about Edward and why he's such a jerk. **

**Thanks as always to my beautiful and talented beta BITTENEV. I love you more than coffee, and that's a lot!**

**The song for this chapter is "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own an old SUV.**

Chapter 2—Hot and Cold

I reluctantly got out of bed the next morning for my second day at Forks High. I could see the snow flurries outside my window, and I groaned. I missed the warmth of Phoenix and wondered if I'd ever see the sun again.

Charlie had left for work early, so I ate a quick breakfast alone once I was dressed. There was no sense in lingering around an empty house, so I headed off to school. I was glad to see that I wasn't too early.

"Bella!" I heard someone call as I got out of my truck. I looked up to see Alice standing next to a flashy yellow Mustang and waving wildly. I was definitely not a morning person, and I couldn't understand how Alice had so much energy so early. Part of me wanted to get back in my truck or just go off to find a quiet place, but I couldn't do that to Alice. She had been too nice to me, and there was no way I'd be rude to her.

"Hey, Alice," I said as I joined her next to her car.

Alice began assaulting me with questions. "How was your first day? Did everything go well? Do you like Forks High? Did you meet my cousin?"

"Whoa, Alice, slow down!" I laughed. "My first day was OK."

"Just OK?" Alice seemed outdone. "What about Edward? Did you meet him?"

I sighed in frustration because I really didn't want to say anything negative to Alice about her cousin. "I did. He's my lab partner."

Alice suddenly seemed angry. "I can't believe it! He did it again! Why does he always have to be such an ass?"

I laughed again. "It's OK, Alice. Yes, he was an ass. Yes, he made me angry. I'm just going to ignore him, though. I won't let him get to me."

"I'm sorry, Bella. He wasn't always like this," Alice apologized. "It all started when my aunt and uncle died."

"What happened?" I asked.

Alice began to explain, but she was cut off by the bell. "I'll tell you all about it this afternoon," she said as we headed to class. "I hear you and Charlie are coming for dinner this evening. Why don't you follow me home after school? We can do our homework and hang out."

"Sounds like a plan," I said as we got to class.

The morning went by quickly, and it was soon lunch time. Once again I joined Alice and her group in the cafeteria. Everyone talked and laughed, and I enjoyed myself. I truly felt like I could finally have some close friends.

All too soon, though, lunch ended and it was time for biology. Even though I had decided to ignore Edward Masen, I still got a knot in my stomach knowing he would be there. I was surprisingly disappointed, then, when I saw that Edward was absent.

I listened to Mr. Banner's lecture and took notes, but Edward's absence affected me. Where was he? Why hadn't Alice told me he was out? More importantly, why did I care? I didn't like Edward; I shouldn't have been worried where he was.

School finally ended, and I met Alice next to her car. "My house is pretty difficult to find. You'll need to follow me closely," she explained. Then she looked from her little sports car to my truck. "Try to keep up," she added with a wink.

I shook my head and laughed as I got in my truck to follow Alice. Thankfully, she didn't drive too fast and I was able to keep up with her. Alice was right about her house being difficult to find. I never would have found the turn off if I hadn't been following her. The drive was magnificent, though. The snow-covered trees looked like something from a postcard. They were gorgeous. I imagined it must be even more beautiful in the summer when everything was lush and green. It had to be fun for Alice and Emmett to grow up in such a great place. I felt like I'd been driving forever when I finally saw the huge white house.

Alice motioned for me to park in the driveway as the pulled into the massive garage. I got out of my truck and just stared at the huge house that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.

"So this is home," Alice said as she joined me. "It's big, but it's comfortable."

"It's amazing," I breathed out as I followed her up the front steps and into the house.

"Mom, I'm home!" Alice called out.

"In the kitchen, sweetie," a woman's voice called out.

We went into the kitchen, where we were greeted by a small, pretty woman with long caramel-colored hair. She smiled and came over to use when she saw us.

Alice handled the introductions. "Bella, this is my mom, Esme Cullen. Mom, this is Bella Swan."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," I said, extending my hand.

"Oh please, it's Esme," she said, pulling me into a hug. "It's been forever since I've seen you. You're all grown up," she added, releasing me.

"Thanks so much for taking care of Charlie. I don't know how he's survived so long on his own," I said.

"Charlie's like a member of the family. We love having him here," Esme assured me. "We're also thrilled to have you here."

I began to blush, which unfortunately happened a lot. I didn't like being the center of attention at all. Alice apparently noticed my discomfort and changed the subject. "How's Edward feeling?"

"He's feeling much better," Esme replied as she went back to cooking dinner. "His fever broke around noon, and he's been resting all day."

"Good. I got his assignments for him. I'll bring them up to him and then Bella and I can get started on our homework." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the kitchen. I heard Esme laughing behind us.

"So, Edward is sick?" I asked casually as we made our way upstairs.

"Yeah. He woke up with a fever this morning. It was weird because he doesn't have a cold or anything," she explained. "Must be some sort of bug."

"Must be," I muttered as Alice stopped and knocked on a door.

"Come in," a male voice called out. Alice bounded into the room, but I just stood in the doorway.

Edward's room was immaculate. It was tastefully decorated in various shades of gold. One wall was covered with bookshelves that held a stereo along with tons of CDs and books. Edward was sitting in the middle of the bed propped up against a mountain of pillows and playing on his laptop.

"Hey, Mom said you were feeling better," Alice said as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"I am, but I felt like crap this morning," he replied. "It just came on all of a sudden."

"Well I'm glad you're better," Alice said as she pulled Edward's work out of her school bag.

Edward finally looked up and saw me standing in the doorway. "Hello, Bella," he said formally.

I couldn't find my voice to reply. I just stood there like a mute. I couldn't believe that Edward was being polite to me. I also couldn't believe that someone sick could possibly look that gorgeous. Even his bedhead looked amazing. I continued to just stand and stare. No wonder Edward had been so rude. He probably thought I was mentally challenged, although that was no reason to be rude.

Edward looked at me intently, and I couldn't tear my eyes away. Alice looked from me to Edward then back to me. She sensed the awkwardness and thankfully broke the tension. "Come on, Bella. Let's go to my room," she said, getting up and heading towards me. "See you later, Edward."

Alice dragged me to her bedroom, but my mind was elsewhere. Edward had actually been nice to me, and I had acted like an idiot. We quietly got out our books and started our homework until Alice, sensing something was on my mind, broke the silence.

"Edward grew up in Chicago," she began, "but he, Emmett, and I have always been extremely close. He would spend part of his summers with us in Forks, and Emmett and I would go to Chicago the rest of the time. We'd even sped holidays together. My mom and my aunt Elizabeth were sisters and really close with one another. Last summer, Edward, Aunt Elizabeth, and Uncle Ed came out to visit. Edward was spending the whole month of June with us, but my aunt and uncle only stayed a week. They had been back in Chicago for only three days when we got the news. They were in an accident, hit head on by a drunk driver. They were killed instantly. Edward was just a mess. He was basically catatonic until we got to Chicago, and then at the funeral he just lost it." Alice paused for a moment, no doubt thinking of her cousin's pain. "Edward came back to Forks to live with us, but he hasn't been the same. He's just a shell of a person, not really living, just existing. That's no excuse for him to be rude to you or anyone, but that's just how he deals with things."

I sat for a minute and tried to process what Alice had just told me. I couldn't even imagine going through what Edward had been through, but Alice was right. It was no excuse to be rude.

"Has he talked to anyone about it?" I finally asked. "You know, a professional or something? This can't be healthy."

"He does see someone once a week," Alice admitted. "It's helped a little but he's still not the same Edward. I miss the old Edward. He never laughs or smiles anymore. I want my cousin back."

Alice looked so sad that I just had to lean over and hug her. She hugged me back tightly, and we just sat like that for a few minutes. When she sat up, she wiped a few tears away. "Thanks, Bella. I needed that."

I wanted to smile for making her feel better but decided against it. I didn't want Alice to think I found any pleasure in her pain. The truth was that I had never had a friend like Alice. I had only known her for two days, but I felt as if we'd been friends forever. Alice seemed to have that effect on people.

We got started on our homework and kept the conversation on lighter topics. When we were finished, we went downstairs to help Esme. Carlisle was home, and he greeted me as warmly as Esme had.

"It's so good to see you, Bella," Carlisle said. "Charlie's happy to have you here."

"I'm glad to be here," I replied, only lying a little bit. I really was happy to be living with Charlie. I just wasn't happy that it was in Forks.

Charlie arrived a short time later, and Esme called everyone to dinner. It was definitely a lively affair. Emmett and Alice somehow managed to eat while talking nonstop. Charlie and Carlisle discussed fishing while Esme just listened and joined in when she could. Edward and I were the only ones who didn't have anything to contribute. I was basically in my own little bubble, eating and tuning out the conversation around me.

"Edward, are you feeling poorly again? You've hardly touched your dinner." It was Esme's voice that brought me back. I looked up and noticed that Edward was just playing with his food. I wondered too if he was still sick. Why, though? Why did I care?

"I'm really not very hungry. May I be excused?" Edward ran his hands through his hair as if he was frustrated.

"Of course, dear. I'll be up in a bit to check on you," Esme told him. Edward nodded and swiftly left the table. Esme looked concerned and leaned in to Carlisle to whisper to him. "Carlisle, I'm worried about him ."

"He'll be fine. I'm sure it's just a bug or something," Carlisle assured her.

"It's more than that," Esme insisted. "I feel like I'm not doing enough to help him through everything."

Carlisle reached over and squeezed Esme's hand. "You are. I promise you are." He obviously sensed that I had heard his and Esme's conversation because he turned to me. "So, Bella, how are you enjoying Forks High so far?"

It was a simple question, but I knew I was turning 20 shades of red. I hated to have the attention turned on me, but I'd never be rude to Carlisle or anyone else. "It's good so far. I've met some great people thanks to Alice."

Alice perked up and gave me a big smile. "Awww, thanks! It's great having you here."

The rest of the meal went by quickly as we all engaged in small talk. I began to feel more comfortable and joined in the conversation. I tried to help Esme clean up after dinner, but she shooed me away. Alice, Emmett, and I went into the den to play video games. It was hysterical watching the two of them. You'd have sworn they were in the Super Bowl. They were so intense and totally into the game.

Charlie came in about an hour later. "Bells, I'm heading out. I'll see you at home."

"OK. I'll be right behind you."

"You don't have to leave if you're not ready. You can stay if you'd like," Charlie said with a smile. "Don't rush home on my account."

"No, it's getting late. I don't want to overstay my welcome." I really was having a good time, but it was getting late. I wanted to shower and get to bed before it got too late.

I turned to Alice and Emmett. "Thanks so much for a fun evening. I had a great time hanging out."

Emmett grabbed me in a huge bear hug. "Anytime, Bellaboo! Don't be a stranger!"

I managed to get free from Emmett's grasp only to have Alice squeeze me like a boa constrictor. "Oh Bella, I'm so glad you came. Please tell me you'll be back soon."

"Of course I will," I assured her. "I never really had close friends in Phoenix, so this was really fun."

Alice's eyes got wide. "Really? How could you not have close friends?"

"If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty shy. I just never fit in with anyone back home," I explained.

Alice grabbed me in another bone-crushing hug. "Then I'm honored that you've allowed me to be your friend. I know I'm hyper sometimes, but I can't help it. I'm just glad you don't mind."

I laughed and hugged her back before heading to the kitchen to say good night to Carlisle and Esme. They both hugged me as well.

"I'm so glad you joined us this evening," Esme said warmly. "You are welcome anytime, and I hope we'll be seeing a lot more of you."

"Thanks, Esme. You definitely will," I replied honestly.

I managed to find my way down the Cullens' long driveway and get back to the highway. From there it didn't take long to get home. Charlie was already settled in front of the TV watching a basketball game when I walked in.

"Hey, Bells," he said. "Did you have a nice time with the Cullens?"

"I really did. I had fun hanging out with Alice and Emmett. They're great." I smiled at the idea of finally having some close friends.

Charlie smiled as well. "They are great. I'm glad you like them. I know you're pretty quiet like your old man here, and I was worried about you being alone too much."

I was surprised. Charlie was a man of few words and didn't express his feelings much. I was touched that he worried about me in that way.

"I hope you don't mind me hanging out with Alice after school. I promise I'll get my chores done and dinner ready—"

Charlie cut me off. "Bella, you're not here to be the maid or to take care of me. I want you to have fun. Don't worry. I've been taking care of myself for a while now."

"That doesn't mean I don't worry about you," I insisted. "Besides, I'm used to taking care of Mom."

Charlie smiled. "Your mom is a great person, but we both know she's a little flighty. I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "Well, I'm going to head upstairs for the night."

"Sleep tight," Charlie called out.

School the next day was even better. I still hadn't come out of my shell completely, but I felt comfortable at Forks High. Everyone seemed to accept me for who I was.

I headed to biology after lunch and stopped dead in my tracks when I reached the classroom. Edward Masen was back, and I immediately found myself becoming frustrated. I was in a good mood, and I knew any interaction with Edward would ruin it. Then I wondered yet again why on earth I was letting Edward get to me like this. Sure, he was the most beautiful male specimen I had ever seen, but he was still a jerk. I walked to my lab table, grabbed my notebook out of my bag, and let my hair fall in my face as a shield from Edward.

"Bella," a velvety voice said, and I knew it was Edward. I ignored him and continued to flip through my notebook. "Bella," he said again. I continued to ignore him. He sighed. "I guess I deserve it for the way I've treated you. I'm sorry, Bella. I know I've been an ass. Maybe it's just better this way."

His comment caught me off guard and I spun to face him. "Better this way? Being an ass is OK?"

Edward sighed again. "That's not what I meant. I meant that it's probably for the best if you continue to ignore me. I'm not really a very good friend."

"So I've noticed," I retorted.

Edward looked as though he wanted to say something else, but Mr. Banner began class. I was grateful because I really didn't feel like talking to Edward. We were both quiet as we took notes and did our classwork. When the bell rang, I didn't even look at him. I joined Angela, and we walked to gym together.

I was getting in my truck at the end of the day when I heard Edward calling my name. I was tempted to just get in and drive off, but for some reason I decided to hear him out so he would stop annoying me.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked as he jogged over to my truck. "You tell me it's best to ignore you, but you won't leave me alone. I wish _you'd_ just ignore _me_."

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bella, I'm really sorry about the way I've treated you. I said I wouldn't be a very good friend. That doesn't mean I don't want to be friends."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

Edward sighed again. "It means I don't know if I'd be a very good friend, but I could try. Alice and Emmett love you already."

"That's because they don't go hot and cold like you do." At this point I considered running over Edward with my truck.

"I know, and you're right," he replied, looking at the ground.

"I'll think about it." I started my truck to let him know the conversation was over.

Edward took the hint. "Sounds fair. I'll see you tomorrow."

As I drove out of the parking lot, I replayed the conversation in my head. Could I actually handle being friends with Edward? Could I handle his mood swings? I found myself more confused than ever by the enigma that was Edward Masen .


	3. Chapter 3--Earth to Bella

**I can't begin to thank y'all enough for supporting my little story! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I hope you'll like this chapter as well. A huge thank you to my awesome friend and beta BITTENEV for making me look like I know what I'm doing.**

**The song for this chapter is "Earth to Bella Part 1" by Incubus.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own Saints playoff tickets that I can't use.**

Chapter 3—Earth to Bella

I needed to forget about my conversation with Edward, and I figured the best way to do so would be to cook. Chicken enchiladas were one of my favorite things to make, and I was fairly certain that Charlie hadn't eaten real Mexican food in ages.

After a quick stop at the grocery to pick up the ingredients, I headed home and began cooking. I lost myself in chopping and dicing. Once everything was on the stove to simmer, I got started on my homework. I became so engrossed in what I was doing that the ringing of my cell phone startled me. A quick look at my screen told me it was Alice. "Hello."

"Hey, Bella! Whatcha doing?" Even on the phone Alice was way too perky.

I chuckled at my friend's enthusiasm. "Just doing my homework and cooking dinner. What's up?"

"Well, I was on my way to cheerleading practice today when I thought I saw Edward talking to you by your truck. Care to confirm or deny?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes even though Alice couldn't see me. "Yes, Alice, that's what you saw."

"What did he want?" she asked impatiently.

I sighed in frustration. I really didn't want to talk about it, but I knew Alice wouldn't give up. "He said he wanted to be friends."

"That's a good thing! Why do you sound so glum about it?" Alice was getting way too excited.

"Because I need to know that if he's going to be nice one day he'll be nice again the next!" I felt bad about taking my frustrations out on Alice, but the subject of Edward had that effect on me.

Thankfully, Alice didn't take offense at my tone. "I don't think he'll be that way. He must really want to be friends if he made the effort to find you and talk to you. That's uncharacteristic of Edward. He's usually much more reserved."

"If he wants to be my friend, he needs to prove that he's capable of being one," I said with finality.

"Sounds fair." Alice echoed Edward's words from earlier. "OK, on a different subject, we're having a sleepover Friday night."

"Why do I have a feeling that my idea of a sleepover is a lot different from yours?" I had only known Alice a short time, but I had a bad feeling that I was going to be assaulted with a makeover. She was a typical girly girl, while I preferred comfort over style.

"Oh Bella, don't be a party pooper!" Alice whined. "We can give each other facials and manis and pedis. I'll get Rosalie to come too. It'll be fun."

I bit my lip, again realizing Alice couldn't see me. "I don't think Rosalie likes me."

"Rosalie likes you. She just doesn't always show it," insisted Alice. "Rosalie isn't the most outgoing person, and it takes her a while to warm up to people. She's not like Edward, though. She's fiercely loyal to her friends. Besides, if she didn't like you, you'd know. I promise you that."

"OK, Alice, whatever." I knew there was no way I'd win this argument, so I didn't even try to argue.

Alice was pleased. "Good. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"All right. See you then." I ended my call with Alice and got back to cooking and homework.

Charlie was pleasantly surprised when he came home to find real Mexican food. We had a pleasant dinner, and I even joined him in front of the flat screen for a while to watch a basketball game. We had a great evening, and I slept well.

Alice was all abuzz the next morning about our impending sleepover. If she was this excited now, I was afraid to see what she was going to be like by Friday night. I just shook my head and chuckled. I really was looking forward to spending time with my friend, but I was afraid of the girly torture she was most likely going to put me through.

I headed to biology with butterflies in my stomach. I was anxious to see which Edward was going to be in class today. Apparently it was Friendly Edward because he smiled when I sat down.

"Good afternoon, Bella," he said. "How are you today?"

"Fine, thanks," I said warily. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Glad to hear that. So, I hear Alice is having a sleepover tomorrow night." His smile was a dazzling white that almost made me melt. Almost.

"Yeah. I'm worried about that." Crap. I couldn't believe I had admitted that.

"What are you worried about?"

Double crap. He wasn't going to let it go.

I hesitated. I really didn't want to confess my insecurities to Edward Masen. I just had a feeling that he wasn't going to let me off the hook. He was being way too outgoing today.

"I've never really done the whole girly sleepover thing," I finally admitted.

"Really?" Edward was genuinely surprised.

I didn't respond. I looked down and let my hair fall around my face. Edward was being friendly enough, but I didn't know if it would last.

"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, Bella," Edward said. "I meant what I said about wanting to be friends. I'm just not very good at it."

Thankfully I was saved from responding by Mr. Banner beginning class. Edward and I exchanged glances, but we didn't speak again for the rest of the period.

I managed to survive gym and head home for the evening. Alice called after dinner to finalize our sleepover plans. She promised to keep the girly stuff to a minimum so I wouldn't be too uncomfortable. I was excited about the sleepover as long as Alice didn't try to make me over.

As expected, Alice was very excited the next day. I could only laugh because I knew there was no calming her. In fact, our whole group was rather animated. We were all so busy talking and laughing at lunch that Angela, Ben, and I made it to biology just as the tardy bell rang. As a result, I didn't get to talk to Edward before class began. He gave me a small smile as Mr. Banner began class.

Any good mood I was in vanished as soon as Mr. Banner started the lesson. He announced that we were going to be blood typing. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The smell and sight of blood made me sick. I knew this class wouldn't end well .

Edward noticed my apprehension, and he probably saw the color drain from my face. "Bella, are you OK?"

I couldn't say anything, so I just nodded. Edward was watching me out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything.

Then it happened. Mr. Banner demonstrated what we were to do by pricking Mike Newton's fingertip and squeezing it so the blood would flow. I put my head down on the cool lab table, hoping to keep the nausea at bay, but it wasn't working.

"Bella? What's wrong? Bella?" Edward seemed genuinely concerned . At least I think he did. The room was spinning, and I wasn't sure I was hearing correctly.

"The blood. The smell." I couldn't lift my head.

"Mr. Banner? I don't think Bella is feeling very well." Edward had just announced it to everyone. Great.

"Take her to the nurse," Mr. Banner replied.

I groaned. Not only did the whole class know that I was going to be sick, but Edward was going to be the one to take care of me. I prayed that a giant hole would open in the ground and swallow me. I knew that was highly unlikely, so I stood up and let Edward steady me. He grabbed my bag and led me out of the classroom.

Neither of us said anything until we were outside. I sat down on the nearest bench and breathed deeply. "I just need some fresh air. Give me a minute."

Edward sat next to me. "You're looking a little green," he observed.

"Gee, thanks," I spat, but I was sure I was really too green to sound angry.

"Just stating the obvious," he said with a smirk.

"OK. I'm good to go." As I stood up, though, I felt dizzy and nearly fell. Edward caught me before I did, scooped me up in his arms bridal style, and headed towards the office. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Carrying you to the office. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Put me down!" I said as forcefully as I could while beating him with my fists. Unfortunately I was too dizzy to really make my point.

Apparently Edward got my message because he put me down. Actually, he pretty much dropped me. "Fine. You don't want my help. Take care of yourself then." He threw my bag to the ground, turned on his heel, and walked back to class .

I sat on the ground for a minute trying to get my bearings and process what had just happened. I could have been more polite in my request to Edward to put me down, but he didn't have to drop me. Asshole. I managed to stand up and somehow make my way to the office.

"Bella? Are you all right?" Mrs. Cope asked as I walked into the office.

"No. Blood typing in biology." I laid my head on the counter.

Mrs. Cope walked around the counter to me and helped me to the nurse's office. As I plopped in a chair, Mrs. Cope explained to the nurse what was going on. The nurse ran to get a cool compress for my forehead. I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"What class do you have next?" Mrs. Cope asked me.

"Gym. Crap."

Mrs. Cope laughed. "Don't worry, honey. You can stay in here. I'll let Coach Hebert know where you are."

"Thanks," I managed to say.

Surprisingly the last hour of school flew by and the day was over. I was feeling much better, but Mrs. Cope wasn't convinced I should drive home.

"I don't know, Bella. Perhaps I should call Charlie," she said worriedly.

"Please don't," I practically begged her. "I promise I'm OK. I don't have far to go." I knew Charlie would freak out, even if it was just on the inside, if the school called and said I was sick.

Mrs. Cope relented. "Oh all right. Just please be careful."

"I will," I promised her. "And thanks."

As I made my way to my truck, I heard Alice calling my name and saw her running towards me. "Bella! Angela told me what happened in biology. Are you OK? Can you still come over tonight?"

"Yes, Alice, I'm fine and I'm still coming over," I assured her.

Alice smiled knowingly. "So, I heard Edward was the one to take you to the nurse."

I bit my lower lip. "Well, sort of."

"What do you mean 'sort of'?" she demanded.

I hesitated, but Alice gave me a look that said she wasn't going to back down. She stood there with her hand on her hip looking positively scary. I bit my lip again.

"What happened, Bella?" she asked. "Don't tell me it was nothing. You'd better spill."

I figured I might as well tell Alice what went on. "Fine. Edward was walking me to the office when I got dizzy. He picked me up and carried me."

"What's wrong with that?" She sounded confused.

I went on. "I didn't want him to, so I fought him. Then he dropped me and went back to class."

Alice unsuccessfully stifled a laugh. "Are you serious? He actually dropped you?"

Now it was my turn to glare at her. "It's not funny. He could have just put me down and continued to walk me to the office. He didn't have to drop me. Yesterday he tells me he wants to be friends, and today he drops me. What's his problem?"

Alice was still laughing. "I'm sorry, Bella, but it is funny. I don't think Edward's shown this much personality in months."

I became exasperated and got in my truck. "Whatever, Alice. I'll see you tonight." Alice was still laughing but waved as I drove off. I really wasn't mad at her, though. It was impossible to be mad at Alice.

I got home and did a couple of loads of laundry to pass time until I left for Alice's. Charlie was stopping at the diner for dinner and would be going to LaPush to go fishing with Billy tomorrow, so I didn't have to worry about him. I packed my bag and headed over to the Cullens about 6:00.

Alice basically pounced on me as soon as I walked in the door. "Bella!"

"Alice, you just saw me three hours ago." I laughed as I hugged her back.

"I know, but I'm so excited you're here!" She dragged me through the house toward the stairs.

"Hi, Bella!" Esme called out as we passed the kitchen. Alice stopped and then pulled me into the kitchen.

Alice let me go long enough to hug her mother. "It's good to see you, Esme," I told her. "I hope you can protect me from your crazy daughter."

"Sorry, but I can't help you with that," Esme replied with a smile. "Carlisle and I are meeting some friends for dinner in Port Angeles. You're on your own tonight."

"Too bad, Bella! You're stuck with me!" Alice trilled as she dragged me out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into her room.

I rubbed my arm and shook my head. "Alice, for a little person you're freakishly strong." We both flopped on the bed, and that was when I realized I had left my phone in my truck. "My phone's in my truck. I need to get it in case Charlie or Renee calls. I'll be right back."

I quickly ran down and got my phone. As I was heading back upstairs, I ran into someone. I looked up to see Edward falling on his rear end.

"Fuck!" he yelled as he put his hands back to try and break his fall. "Would you watch where the hell you're going!'

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I stammered as my face turned a hundred shades of red.

"You need to be more fucking careful!" Edward got up and examined himself. "Fucking awesome. Look at this!" He held out his right arm, where a bruise was already forming.

Thankfully I was saved when Esme appeared at the top of the stairs. "Edward! Watch your language!"

"She knocked me down!" he replied, seemingly amazed that his aunt had corrected him.

"I'm sure it was an accident, so there's no reason to carry on like that," Esme chided. Edward pushed his way past me and continued down the stairs. "Bella honey, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I choked out as I made my way upstairs, trying not to cry.

Esme stopped me when I reached the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry. He wasn't always like this. It's no excuse, but I don't think he means it."

I just nodded, not trusting my voice. Esme squeezed my arm, and I went back to Alice's room.

"What happened?" Alice demanded as soon as I opened the door.

I couldn't talk. I sat on the edge of the bed as the tears finally fell.

Alice was furious. "What did he do to you?"

"It was my fault," I told her. "I was coming up the stairs, and I wasn't watching where I was going. I knocked him down. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm just so damn clumsy."

"It is not your fault! It was an accident. They happen." Alice sat next to me and put her arm around me. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. No physical injury. I only hurt what little pride I had left." I leaned into Alice and put my head on her shoulder.

"Hola, bitches!" Rosalie entered the room but stopped short when she saw Alice and me. "What's wrong?"

Alice sighed in frustration. "Edward."

Rosalie sat on the other side of me. "What did he do now?"

Thankfully Alice answered for me. "He and Bella had a little collision on the stairs and he yelled at her like she did it on purpose!"

"He what?" Rosalie stood up with her hands on her hips. "I know he's all emo and shit, but that's ridiculous. What's his problem lately? Do I need to kick his ass?"

"Can we please just drop it?" I pleaded. "I want to forget about him and have fun tonight."

Rosalie sat down again. "Bella, I know I'm not as crazy and outgoing as Miss Alice Sunshine here, but I like you. You fit in well with our group. I don't warm up easily to new people because I've been burned before by fake friends, but I can tell that you're not like that. Edward's been through some heavy shit, but he doesn't have to be mean. You know, I think he likes you. He likes you, but he doesn't know how to approach you like a human being because he's got his head up his ass."

"That's it! That's got to be it!" Alice squealed, causing me to jump. "He's known Rose and Jasper for years, so he's nice to them. But now you've come along and he has no clue what to do."

I looked at them warily. "I think you're both crazy."

Alice wouldn't give up on her theory. "Seriously. Edward's been depressed and has kept to himself since his parents died. Now you're here, and his world just got shaken up again. He wants to like you, but he's too sad to let you in."

"Whatever, Alice," I said in frustration. "Now can we have some fun?"

We did end up having fun. The girls gave me a manicure and pedicure, but thankfully I wasn't subjected to an extreme makeover. We also ate popcorn and laughed as we watched chick flicks. I was truly enjoying myself.

About midnight we went downstairs to put our popcorn bowls in the dishwasher. When we got to the kitchen, we ran into Edward drinking a bottle of water. I hung back, but Rosalie wasn't shy about speaking her mind.

"So, Edward," she began, pointing a perfectly manicured fingernail at him, "what's your problem with our Bella?" Apparently Rosalie didn't believe in beating around the bush.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Edward replied innocently.

"Oh I think you do," Rosalie insisted. "Why on earth would Bella deliberately knock you down on the stairs?"

Then Alice chimed in. "And what's this I hear about you dropping her at school today when you were supposed to be bringing her to the nurse's office?"

I felt myself turning beet red as Edward stood with his mouth open.

"You did what?" Rosalie practically shouted. "How could you?"

Edward found his voice. "She didn't want my help. I wasn't going to force her into something she didn't want."

Rosalie was livid. "So you just dropped her? You couldn't have just put her down? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

"I—I wasn't thinking," Edward replied nervously.

Then Alice spoke up. "No. You weren't thinking. I don't know what your problem is, Edward, but you need to get over it. Bella's my friend. She's not going anywhere."

Edward's response was to storm past us out of the kitchen.

Alice turned to me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I knew what was going on with him."

I sighed. "Don't worry. I'm just going to ignore him. I don't need his drama."

Alice and Rosalie seemed satisfied with my response. We went back up to Alice's room to make plans for a shopping trip in the morning. Alice and Rosalie seemed like world-class shoppers, which frightened me. I hated shopping and avoided it at all costs.

Esme got up early the next morning to cook breakfast for all of us. Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and I were enjoying our pancakes when Carlisle came in with a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong, dear?" Esme asked him.

Carlisle frowned. "Edward's sick again. He's running a fever of 102 along with chills, and his whole body hurts. His ears and throat are clear. I don't know where this is coming from."

"What are you going to do?" asked Esme worriedly.

"I want him to see Dr. Hunter on Monday. She's an infectious disease specialist," Carlisle explained. "I'm hoping she can come up with something. I have no idea what's making Edward so sick."

Breakfast was soon finished, and the girls and I went to get ready for our shopping trip. On our way out, Alice stopped in Edward's room to check on him. Rosalie and I waited in the hall.

Alice came out a few minutes later. "Bella, Edward wants to talk to you for a minute."

Rosalie looked at me questioningly, but I just shrugged my shoulders as I went into Edward's room.

I had to go up next to Edward's bed to see him because he had the covers pulled up to his chin. He was as white as a ghost except for the dark circles under his eyes. He looked awful. I wasn't going to let that cloud my judgment, though.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked him, not bothering to hide my irritation.

Edward didn't seem surprised by my tone. "I really need to apologize, Bella. I thought long and hard about what Alice said last night, and she's right. I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you, and I promise to be kinder. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I do have a nice side. I just hope you'll let me show it to you."

Despite his sickly appearance, I saw nothing but sincerity in Edward's eyes. I could tell he finally meant what he said. Could I give him a chance, though? Could I allow myself to become friends with Edward? Only time would tell.


	4. Chapter 4 Closer

**I'm baaack! Thank you so much to all of you who are following Iris and who have taken the time to review. Your support means the world to me. Speaking of support, a huge thank you goes out to my beta BITTENEV. I really needed her help with this chapter, and she didn't disappoint.**

**The song for this chapter is "Closer" by Tegan and Sara. I love it so much!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I actually own very little.**

Chapter 4—Closer

The week had flown by, and now it was Friday. The whole school was abuzz with excitement. Tonight was a big basketball game against our archrivals, LaPush High. The winner would take the division title.

It had been a good week for me. Edward was true to his word about being kinder. We talked every day now in biology, and he made an effort to be more outgoing when I visited the Cullen house. Part of me believed Edward had really changed, but there was still that nagging little part of me that worried he'd go back to his old ways. I tried to ignore that second part, though, because Friendly Edward was a really great guy.

Thankfully, Edward was feeling much better. After his illness last weekend, Carlisle and Esme had kept him home from school on Monday for a doctor's appointment. Because of HIPPA laws and privacy requirements, Carlisle sent Edward to Dr. Hunter, a trusted colleague. She examined Edward and ran several blood tests, but everything came back normal. No one seemed to worry since Edward was now feeling fine.

Alice and I joined our group in the cafeteria for lunch when Nessie came to our table. She was so happy that she was practically vibrating.

"Geez, Ness, calm down! You look like the Energizer bunny on crack!" Emmett teased.

"I can't help it! I'm excited about the game tonight!" Nessie replied.

Emmett smiled knowingly. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain basketball player from LaPush, would it?"

Nessie's mouth was agape, and her hands went to her hips. "Emmett! You suck!"

Everyone laughed, but I was confused. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Our little Nessie has a huge crush on Jacob Black, the starting center for LaPush," Emmett explained. "Instead of acting on it, though, she just drools over him from afar."

"I do not drool over Jacob!" Nessie exclaimed exasperatedly. Everyone at the table gave her a pointed look. "OK, maybe I do. Ugh!" She collapsed in a chair and buried her face in her hands.

I laughed a little then smiled. "Hey Ness, I happen to know Jacob Black."

Nessie sat up straight, and her eyes were wide. "What?! You know him? How?"

"Jacob's dad and my dad are best friends," I told her. "Jake and I were playmates when we were little. I'd be happy to put in a good word for you."

Nessie launched herself at me and grabbed me in a huge hug. "Thank you so much, Bella! I'll name my first born after you if this works out."

We all laughed until Emmett noticed something and raised a finger. Everyone looked in the direction he was pointing. Edward had entered the cafeteria and was heading in our direction. Alice had told me that Edward spent lunch in the library, so I was just as surprised as everyone else to see him.

"Hey, everybody," Edward said as he sat in the chair next to me.

Alice reached across me and felt Edward's forehead. "Nope. No fever."

Edward gently pushed her hand away. "Can't I just enjoy lunch with my cousins and my friends?"

"You never 'enjoy lunch' with us," Emmett said, making air quotes. "I mean, I'm glad you're here, but why the sudden change?"

Edward shrugged. "I guess it's finally time to get my head out of my ass and join the living."

"Hallelujah!" Alice exclaimed, drawing the attention of other students. "What? I'm glad you got your head out of your ass."

Edward laughed. "I know. I'm sorry I've acted like a jerk. I really am trying to be a better person, and I hope you can forgive me."

"Damn, the shrink must have put you on the really happy pills," Emmett exclaimed. We all looked at him, and Rose smacked his arm.

Then we looked at Edward, waiting to see how he would react. To my surprise and probably everyone else's, he laughed again. "No, Em, he didn't fool with my happy pills. I meant what I said about becoming a better person."

"Well I'm happy and it has nothing to do with pills," Alice said. "You've had me worried all these months. Don't ever do that to me again!"

"I won't, Ali," Edward promised.

Once the initial shock of Edward joining us had worn off, we fell back into our usual small talk. Nessie was still excited about the prospect of meeting Jacob, and Emmett was still teasing her. It was pretty funny.

All too soon, though, the bell rang. Edward gently touched my arm as we stood up and gathered our things. "Bella, may I walk you to class?"

I smiled at him. "Sure. We're going to the same class."

Alice winked and gave me a thumbs up when she heard my response to Edward. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her.

"So, Bella," Edward began as we made our way to biology. "Are you going to the game tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm having a sleepover with Alice tonight. I'm meeting her at your house and riding over with her," I explained. "What about you?"

"I'll probably be there. I want to support Emmett," he replied. "It all depends on how I'm feeling."

"I thought you were feeling better," I said, surprised.

Edward gave me a small smile. "I am, but I'm always tired. I don't know if it's from being sick or a side effect of my anti-depressants."

I looked at Edward in surprise at his casual mention of his meds. He didn't seem shocked by my reaction.

"I know, you can't believe I'm talking about the happy pills," he began. "It's OK. Right now they're just a part of my life. I'd be an even bigger asshole if I wasn't medicated. Besides, you don't seem like the type to judge me for taking pills to cope."

I took Edward's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'd never judge you for that. It takes a big man to admit that he needs help."

"Thanks, Bella. It means a lot to me to hear you say that." Edward was smiling widely, but I also swore I saw his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He also gave my hand a small squeeze.

Unfortunately, we had reached our class. I wanted to keep talking, but our time had run out. Edward gallantly pulled out my stool for me, and we settled in for an hour of biology.

The rest of my day flew by, and at 5:30 I was pulling up in front of the Cullen home. This time, Alice assaulted me as I was getting out of my truck.

"Bella! You're here!" she squealed.

"Really, Ali? Did you miss me that much?" I tried to grab my overnight bag, but Alice's python-like grip was making it difficult. "Alice! Can't breathe!"

Alice let go long enough for me to grab my things and then dragged me into the house. She was already in her cheerleading uniform, her long black hair French braided. "Just leave your bag in the foyer for now," she said. "Cheerleaders have to be at school by six. Let's boogie!"

I laughed at my friend. "Ali, with the way you drive, we'll make it with plenty of time to spare." Alice wasn't an unsafe driver, but she did have a lead foot. Esme and Carlisle were constantly warning her about it.

Thankfully, Alice had "oh shit" handles in her Mustang, and I held on tight as we made it to Forks High in record time. Alice ran off to join the rest of the cheerleaders in the gym. I was heading to the student section when I heard someone call my name.

I looked up and saw a tall boy with russet skin and black hair pulled into a ponytail jogging towards me. "Jacob?"

"Bells! It's so good to see you!" Jacob grabbed me in a huge bear hug before picking me up and spinning me around.

I was a little dizzy, but I managed to return Jacob's hug. "It's good to see you too, Jake. I'm surprised we haven't run into each other before now."

"I've been keeping busy and all that," he explained. "I'm trying to keep my grades up so I can get a scholarship."

"You'll be great," I assured him. "I have all the faith in the world in you."

Both Jacob and I happened to look up and see the Forks High cheerleaders pointing in our direction. Alice was giggling, but Nessie was turning fifty shades of red.

"Uh, Bella, do you know that red-haired cheerleader? Nessie Wolfe?" Jacob asked.

Now it was my turn to giggle. "Yep. She's a friend. Very sweet girl."

Jacob seemed nervous. "Ummmm, do you think you could put in a good word for me? She's pretty cute, and I'd like to get to know her."

I smiled knowingly. "I don't think that'll be a problem. I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual."

"Really?" Jacob visibly relaxed.

I nodded. "She'd love it if you talked to her."

"Great! I'll have to chat her up after the game." One of Jacob's teammates called to him. "Crap. Gotta go, Bells. I'll talk to you soon."

"Have a great game!" I called out as Jacob joined his team.

I found a seat in the student section as the gym began to fill up. The Forks-LaPush rivalry was a big one, and the gym was going to be packed tonight. Angela joined me a short time later. She was wearing a shirt with Ben's number on it and had a sign she had made to show her support for her man. Esme and Carlisle waved to me when they arrived. I had to laugh at Esme's ensemble. She was wearing a shirt that said "Emmett's Mom" along with a huge button that had Alice's cheerleading picture on it. Only Esme could pull off such a look and make it glamorous.

It was just before tip-off when I felt someone squeeze in next to me. I looked up and saw Edward. "Is this seat taken?" he asked with a smile.

I smiled back. "Of course not. Is everything OK? You're a little late."

Edward shrugged. "Yeah, I'm good. I fell asleep when I got home, though, and slept a little longer than I had planned."

As he spoke, I noticed the dark circles under Edward's eyes. I reached out and began to trace them with my index finger. Edward closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

The roar of the crowd brought us back to reality. "I-I'm so sorry," I stammered, mortified at what I had done. "I didn't mean to touch you like that."

"It's all good," Edward assured me. "Besides, I liked it."

I was grinning like an idiot and didn't know what else to say, so I was happy when Angela interrupted our moment. "Hey, Edward!" she said excitedly, leaning over me. "Glad you made it!"

"I wouldn't have missed this game," Edward replied. "I've heard the rivalry with LaPush is a good one."

We settled in and enjoyed the game. As predicted, it was a great one. The entire game was close. The gym was noisy, and I was totally into the game. Angela and I were cheering loudly. It looked as if the game would go into overtime, but Emmett hit the winning shot at the buzzer. The gym erupted into cheers as the Forks fans poured out of the stands and onto the court. I flopped down in my seat, exhausted from all of the excitement.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Edward had to yell in order for me to hear him over the crowd.

I nodded. Edward took my hand and led me through the crowd.

"Crap!" I exclaimed. "Alice is going to wonder where I went. I'm supposed to be meeting her."

"I don't think she'll mind." Edward pointed to mid-court where the cheerleaders were. Alice was waving wildly and winking at us. I shook my head and laughed as I allowed Edward to lead me out of the gym.

Edward opened the passenger door of his silver Volvo and helped me in before jogging to the driver's side. "Where to, madam?" he asked as he started the car.

"I don't know," I replied dumbly. "Alice had mentioned something about a party."

"There's a party at Ben's house, but I really don't feel up to going," Edward said. "I could drop you off there if you want to go."

I shook my head. "Nah. I'm really not a party person."

"We can go back to my house," Edward suggested. "I promise to be a gentleman. No funny business. Just talking."

I laughed at the sincere look on Edward's face and knew there was no way I could say no. We rode back to the house in comfortable silence, but every now and then I caught Edward glancing at me. I only noticed because I was doing the same thing to him.

Once we reached the Cullen home, Edward led me around the house to the fire pit in the backyard. He quickly had a fire going and sat next to me on the bench.

"So, Bella Swan, tell me all there is to know about you," Edward said.

"There really isn't much to know," I told him. "I'm quiet, nerdy, and bookish."

"I beg to differ," Edward disagreed. "I think you're quite a spitfire. You've put up with all my crap and never backed down. You deal with my crazy cousins on a daily basis."

"Your cousins are amazing," I replied. "I never had many friends in Arizona, so I love being with them."

Edward seemed shocked. "I find that hard to believe."

"It's true. Remember? Nerd." I turned the tables on him. "What about you, Edward Masen? What do I need to know about you?"

"I'm sure Alice has told you all you need to know, happy pills and all," he said quietly.

"But I want to hear it from you. Only if you're comfortable telling me, though."

Edward gave me a small smile and took both of my hands in his. "I _am _ comfortable telling you." He paused for a moment before beginning. "I'm from Chicago. My dad was a lawyer, and my mom was a music teacher. She's the one who taught me to play the piano."

"I didn't know you played the piano," I said.

He nodded. "I haven't played, though, since, well, you know. Anyway, my life was great. I had the best parents ever. I had my family here in Forks. I had great friends. Everything was perfect. Then some drunken fucker took it all away."

Edward grew silent. He dropped my hands and turned away. I placed my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him. "I'm so sorry," I murmured.

Edward clasped my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. "It's been so hard. I miss them so much. At first, I wanted to die too. Even though I had visited Forks a lot, it wasn't home. I missed my life in Chicago. I was crazy with grief. Hence the shrink and the pills. Anyway, I figured the best way to cope was to become this heartless asshole. I figured I couldn't get hurt again if I stopped caring. Then you showed up."

I was stunned. "What do I have to do with this?"

Edward took my hands again and smiled. "There was something about you, Bella. You were this breath of fresh air that charmed everyone. Alice has had her share of fake friends, so I knew you were a good friend and person if she took to you so quickly. I was afraid to let my guard down, though. I didn't want to get hurt. You not taking any of my shit only made me crazier about you. I really did did do some thinking that night I got sick. I knew I had to at least be friends with you. I'd really like more if you'd do me the honor ."

It took me a minute to find my voice. "Edward, I really thought you were the biggest jerk ever when I first met you. I'm glad you're trying to change, and I really like this new and improved Edward. I'm afraid, too. I'm afraid that you'll go back to your old ways and you'll hurt me. I won't let you do that. I won't let you hurt me."

"I promise I won't hurt you," he assured me. "I really want this, Bella. I want to live again, and I don't want to be alone anymore." He paused for a moment. "Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?"

I saw the sincerity in Edward's eyes, and I couldn't help but smile. "I'd love to go on a date with you, Edward. What did you have in mind?"

"How about dinner in Port Angeles?" he suggested. "There's a place called The Bloated Toad that I'd like to try. The name is weird, but Em and Alice rave about it."

"I've heard good things about it too," I replied. "Let's go there."

"Thank you, Bella," he breathed as he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

We remained that way for a long time, just content with each other, until the fire began to die. Edward made sure it was completely out before leading me inside the house.

Alice was heading upstairs when Edward and I reached the staircase. "And just what have you two been up to?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

Edward laughed. "Give her the details, Bella. You know she won't give us a minute's peace until you do." He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before disappearing upstairs.

Alice dragged me up to her room and demanded to know what had happened. I told her what she needed to know while she squealed at such a high frequency I was sure dogs could hear her. She wanted to come over and beautify me for my date, but I assured her that I was capable of dressing myself. She only relented when I promised to call her on Sunday morning to tell her all about my evening.

As I nervously waited for Saturday evening to arrive, I thought that maybe I should have taken Alice up on her offer. It took me forever to decide on an outfit, but I finally chose a blue V-neck sweater and jeans. I straightened my hair and only put on minimal make up.

Edward arrived promptly at 6:30. "You look beautiful," he said as I let him into the house.

I blushed profusely. "Thank you," I replied softly.

Thankfully Charlie came into the living room and broke some of the tension. He shook Edward's hand and clapped him on the shoulder. "Edward! Good to see you! What are you kids up to tonight?"

"Hi, Charlie. We're heading to Port Angeles for dinner at The Bloated Toad and then maybe the coffee shop or bookstore. I'll have Bella home by midnight."

"No worries," Charlie said. "Just be careful and have fun."

Edward and I made comfortable small talk on the way to Port Angeles, and the hour drive flew by. Once we arrived at the restaurant and were seated, we talked about anything and everything: our childhoods, families, books we loved, school, hobbies. Edward actually had a great sense of humor and kept me laughing throughout dinner.

After dinner, we walked across the street to a coffee house that had live music. We sat close to each other in a booth as we discussed our similar musical tastes. Edward was surprised to learn that I was a fan of classical music. I made him promise to play the piano for me soon.

Neither of us wanted the evening to end, but unfortunately it did. Edward walked me to my front door before midnight, just as he'd promised. "I had a great time tonight, Bella," he said. "I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. Thank you."

"I had fun too," I replied. "I'm so glad I gave you a chance, Edward."

"So am I," he smiled. Edward then became serious. "Bella, can I kiss you?"

I didn't trust my voice, so I just nodded. Edward put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I put my hands on his shoulders as our lips met. Edward's lips were soft, but the kiss was searing. I felt it all the way to my toes. My legs felt like jelly. I couldn't believe such an innocent kiss could be so amazing.

"Wow," I said as we broke apart and Edward rested his forehead on mine.

"Yes it was." Edward kissed my cheek before reluctantly pulling away. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night," I said as Edward headed back to his car. "Please text me when you get home so I know you made it safely."

Charlie was already in bed when I got inside. I was glad because the blush on my face would have totally given away the fact that I was smitten with Edward, and I knew Charlie would tease me a bit about it. I was uncharacteristically giddy as I went up to my room to get ready for bed. I had just changed into my pajamas when the text tone on my phone went off. I picked up the phone from my nightstand and smiled.

_I'm home but my safety is in jeopardy because I won't give Alice any details. Sleep tight.—E _

I laughed and texted back.

_I promised Alice I'd give her a recap in the AM. Silly pixie! You sleep tight too.—B _

I definitely fell asleep with a huge smile on my face.

The next few weeks were spent in an Edward-induced haze. We spent as much time together as we possibly could. Baseball practice had begun and Edward was one of the team's starting pitchers, but he made time for us. If I wasn't at the Cullens, he was at my house. We had fun dates to the movies, the bookstore, and even the coffee house again.

I began to feel guilty about neglecting Alice, though, so we planned a girls' night sleepover. Edward and Jasper decided to do some male bonding over video games.

Alice and I had a great time. We watched chick flicks, pored through her fashion magazines, and shared the latest gossip. Apparently Edward and I were not the only new couple in town. Nessie and Jacob finally met at the party after the big basketball game and had been inseparable ever since.

About 1:00, just as we were falling asleep, I received a text. Alice did too, and she turned on the bedside lamp to see.

_Can you please come to my room?—E _

"Did you just get a text from Edward?" Alice asked sleepily.

"Yeah. What's up with that? It's pretty cryptic."

"We're about to find out," she replied.

Alice didn't even bother to knock when we got to Edward's room. She just walked right in, and we found Edward sitting on the edge of his bed looking as if someone had dumped a bucket of water on him.

"What happened?" I exclaimed as I ran to his side.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I woke up drenched in sweat. My bed is soaking wet too."

"Is this the first time?" Alice asked sternly. The look on her face dared Edward to lie to her.

Edward shook his head. "It started about a week ago. The first time I thought maybe I was running a fever and it had broken. It's happened twice more since then, but tonight was the worst."

Alice frowned. "I'm going to get Mom and Dad."

"Ali, no. Please don't," he pleaded.

"This isn't normal, Edward. I'm waking them up." Alice left no room for an argument. She turned on her heel and left the room.

"She's right. Esme and Carlisle need to know," I insisted. I scooted closer to Edward and put my arm around him. I didn't care that he was sweating profusely. Something was wrong, and he needed me.

"I'm scared, Bella," he said in a barely audible voice. "I've been feeling better and now this is happening."

"It'll be OK," I assured him. "Let Carlisle help you." He nodded as Esme and Carlisle flew into the room with Alice right behind them.

"Oh my gosh, Edward!" Esme exclaimed, obviously shocked.

Thankfully Carlisle was calmer. "Alice said this has happened before. What's going on?"

"I don't know," Edward replied. "I just wake up covered in sweat. Tonight was the worst. My bed is all wet too. I don't know what's wrong."

"I don't know either, but we'll find out. It could be something as simple as an infection and fever breaking," Carlisle said gently. "First, though, we need to get you out of those sweaty pajamas and you need a shower. We'll change your sheets."

"I can take care of it. You don't have to do it," Edward insisted.

"Go. We've got this. Let us take care of you." Carlisle pointed to the bathroom. Edward reluctantly grabbed clean pajamas out of his dresser drawer and went to shower.

Alice and I stripped the bed while Esme got some clean sheets. I helped her make the bed, and the four of us waited for Edward to come out of the bathroom. When he did, he looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry," he began, but Esme cut him off.

"Don't you dare apologize," she gently chided. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You're sick, and you need us."

"You're going to see Dr. Hunter on Monday," Carlisle said. "Something's not right, and we need to figure it out. Now get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

Edward nodded as he got into bed. "Can Bella stay here with me? I promise we won't do anything. I just don't want to be alone." He looked scared, and I knew there was no way I could leave him.

Esme smiled at him. "Of course. Now both of you get some sleep. Love you, sweetie." She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

"Love you too," Edward called out as his family left us alone. I climbed into bed next to Edward and cuddled up next to him. "Thank you for staying. I meant what I said. I really don't want to be alone."

"I'm here," I said softly. "You're going to be all right."

Edward kissed the top of my head, and I soon heard his breathing even out as he fell asleep. I lay awake for a little while longer with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. As I finally drifted off, I said a silent prayer that I'd hear that heartbeat for many nights to come ._  
_


	5. Chapter 5 Breakable

**Here you go, this week's installment! Thanks to all of you who have favorited this story and left reviews. It means a lot to me. Thanks also to my awesome beta BITTENEV. She makes me look competent.**

**The song for this chapter is "Breakable" by Ingrid Michaelson.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I am owned by three spoiled cats.**

Chapter 5—Breakable

On Monday afternoon, I followed Alice back to her house. We were going to hang out, and Charlie would be joining us for dinner. I was looking forward to some "family" time.

Edward had stayed home from school today and gone to the doctor. I was anxious to hear about his appointment. He woke up Saturday with another night sweat. It was as bad as the one on Friday, and it upset him so much that Alice and Emmett had to stay with him until he fell back to sleep. Thankfully Alice said last night had been normal.

Alice and I walked into the kitchen to find Edward, Carlisle, and Esme in a heated discussion. They stopped talking and looked up when we entered.

"What's wrong?" Alice demanded .

"Oh nothing much. I just get to have surgery on Friday," Edward replied, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Edward, we've been through this," Carlisle said, his exasperation obvious.

I was so confused and shocked that I couldn't say anything. Alice sat at the table and pulled me into the chair next to her as we waited for an explanation.

Finally Carlisle spoke. "Dr. Hunter drew blood at Edward's appointment today and ran the tests while we were in the office. His white count was extremely high. Based on that, his fevers and night sweats, and the fact that his glands have been swollen for a while, we decided a lymph node biopsy was the best course of action."

"Can't you do a biopsy with a needle now?" Alice asked.

"You'd think so," Edward replied sullenly.

Carlisle sighed. "Needle biopsies aren't always accurate when it comes to the lymph nodes. Dr. Hunter is going to surgically remove a few of the lymph nodes from the neck, armpit, and groin. It's a simple outpatient procedure done under local anesthesia."

A terrible and scary thought dawned on me. "Isn't a biopsy used to diagnose cancer ?"

Carlisle quickly tried to reassure me. "It's probably just an infection. Removing the lymph nodes will allow us to accurately diagnose and treat it."

"It's my body! I should have some say in what happens to it! It may be simple to you but not to me!" Edward got up from his chair and began pacing around the kitchen.

Esme went to Edward in an attempt to comfort him, but he only reluctantly returned her hug. "It's going to be OK," she soothed.

"No it's not!" Edward pulled away and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "It's easy for all of you to be calm because it's not happening to you! No one has asked me what I think and what I want!" He then turned to Alice. "Ali, do you mind if I borrow Bella for a bit? I know you were going to hang out this afternoon, but I really need her right now."

"Of course," Alice replied with a small smile.

Edward came over and took my hand and led me out the back door. "Thank you," he said over his shoulder. "I just need to be with you for a little while."

I squeezed his hand. "I understand. Where are we going?"

"A few years ago when I was visiting, I was hiking through the woods when I came across a meadow that was hidden away. It was so beautiful and peaceful. After my parents died, I started going there when I needed some space. Being there really calms me."

We walked for a short time before coming upon a clearing in the woods. I couldn't believe the sight in front of me. This meadow was filled with beautiful wildflowers just beginning to bloom for the spring. The grass was green and lush, and I heard a stream flowing nearby. It was paradise.

"Edward, this is amazing," I breathed. "I can see why this place calms you."

"I've never shared it with anyone." Edward sat on the grass and gently pulled me into his lap.

"Thank you for sharing it with me," I said. We sat in silence for a few minutes until I realized Edward wasn't going to talk unless I made him. "Edward, talk to me please."

He shook his head. "I feel like there's something Carlisle and Dr. Hunter aren't telling me. Like you, I associate biopsies with cancer. What if there's something really wrong with me? What am I going to do?"

I could see the tears in Edward's eyes and knew I had to reassure him somehow. "Edward, I don't think your uncle would lie to you. He's probably just trying to keep you calm."

"He's doing a terrible job of it," he muttered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm scared, Bella. I've never had surgery before. I've never even broken any bones. I've had stitches a few times, but that's it." Edward was running his hands through his hair and his eyes were wide as his words tumbled out quickly. "Something could go wrong, and then what? Suppose they do find out I have cancer? I don't want to deal with this! I need my parents. Why aren't they here for me? Why?!"

"Oh, Edward," I said sadly as I pulled him close for a hug. "I wish your parents were here for you too. I'm here for you, though. So are your family and friends. We're not your parents, but we love you. Very much."

Edward looked at me and gave me a small smile. "You love me."

"I do, Edward," I replied without hesitation. "I do love you. I know it's probably too fast-"

Edward cut me off. "I love you too. I don't care if it's too fast. I don't care that we didn't like each other at first. You didn't run screaming from me, even when I was being a jerk. You let me into your heart and taught me how to love again. I love you, Bella." He pulled me close to him. "Thank you. Thank you for making me whole again."

We sat quietly again until Edward looked at his watch. "Crap. We'd better get back. I've got school work to catch up on, and I'm sure you've got homework."

I sighed. We did have work to do, but I didn't want to leave this magnificent place. As we headed back to the house, I said a silent prayer that Edward would be OK.

Edward and I walked back to the house hand in hand, and he led me up to Alice's room. We stood in the doorway and watched as she danced around her room to a Lady Gaga song on her iPod. We tried not to laugh, but we couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You suck!" Alice exclaimed when she realized we were watching her. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know you were born this way," laughed Edward. Seeing Alice acting silly was enough to visibly relax Edward a bit.

Alice ran over and hugged her cousin. "I'm sorry about everything. I wish there was an easier way instead of this biopsy."

"Me too," Edward sighed, "but if Carlisle says it's the best way, it must be. I'm not crazy about being cut on, but I guess there's nothing I can do."

"We're all here for you, no matter what," Alice assured him.

"I know, Ali. Thanks." Edward hugged her a little tighter before letting her go. "I'm going to leave you to do your girly things, but I'll see you at dinner." He kissed me softly on the lips and mouthed "I love you" before leaving us alone.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you are the most unnatural shade or red I have ever seen! Spill!" Alice flopped on her bed and patted the spot next to her.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes it is, so you'd better tell me what happened." Patience was not Alice's strong suit.

I sighed dreamily. "Edward and I said 'I love you.'"

Alice squealed in a frequency so high that all of the dogs in Forks probably heard her.

"Uh, Alice, I think I'm deaf now," I said.

She playfully swatted my arm. "This is a big deal. Edward's dated a few girls, but he's never had a real girlfriend. I'm guessing he's your first boyfriend."

I nodded. "Yep. I know we're moving way too fast, but it just feels right."

"I know what you mean. I felt the same way when I met Jasper." Alice paused for a moment. "Have you slept with him yet?"

"No!" I exclaimed, turning red once again.

"Just asking," Alice said, holding up her hands defensively. "Edward's pretty old fashioned, though. He won't pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do."

"I'm not ready for sex yet. One day, but not now," I explained.

"Me neither. I'm still a virgin," Alice nearly whispered. "I love Jasper and I want to be with him, but not yet. He's been patient so far, but I'm afraid he'll get tired of waiting. What if he meets someone when he goes to college in the fall that's willing to sleep with him? What if he breaks up with me over it?"

I put my arm around Alice. "Have you told Jasper how you feel?" She shook her head. "Talk to him. Jasper seems like too good of a guy to break it off over something like that."

"You're right!" Alice said with a newfound determination. "I'll fight off any skank who goes after my man!"

We both fell back laughing. It felt so good to have a friend like Alice to share these things with.

Alice and I worked on our homework until Esme called everyone down for dinner. Charlie was already there, and he greeted me with a hug as I sat next to him. We were all filling our plates and starting to eat when Edward entered the dining room. He stood there awkwardly for a minute before speaking.

"Carlisle, Esme, I'm really sorry about the way I acted earlier," he apologized.

Carlisle got up from the table and went over to Edward. "I should be apologizing to you. You're right. We should have discussed this. While I feel like the surgical biopsy is the best option, you should have been involved in the decision."

"I know you're just looking out for me, but I'm scared," Edward admitted. "I'm scared of the procedure and scared of what they might find."

"Like I said, I don't think it's anything serious, but whatever it is, we'll get through it together." Carlisle hugged Edward, who smiled as he returned his uncle's hug.

"Now that you've made up, can we eat?" Emmett called out. "I'm so hungry I could gnaw off my own arm."

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, we raised you better than that!" Esme chided. "You act like you were raised by wolves!"

Emmett shrugged unapologetically. "Sorry, Ma. I'm a growing boy. I need sustenance."

The mood in the room lightened considerably after Emmett's little outburst. Dinner at the Cullens was always a lively affair, and tonight was no different. Both of my parents were only children, so I didn't have much family. The Cullens were quickly becoming the family I never had .

After dinner I ended up in the den playing video games with Edward, Emmett, and Alice. The guys were kicking the girls' butts, but I was having too much fun to care. I could tell Edward was tired, though, so I didn't stay too late. I was really worried about him despite Carlisle's insistence that he'd be fine. I had just found Edward, and I wasn't ready to let him go.

Edward became more nervous about the biopsy as the week went on. We all did our best to calm him, but nothing seemed to work. When he called me early Friday morning, he was a bundle of nerves.

"Calm down, Edward," I told him. "You're making me a nervous wreck. You'll be just fine."

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it," he replied apologetically. "I just want this to be over with. I'm actually looking forward to being drugged up so I can chill."

"It'll be over soon enough," I assured him. "I'll see you after school."

Edward's anxiety began to rub off on me, so I was feeling nervous when I got to school. Thankfully Alice was able to calm me. "It's OK, Bella. Relax. You know he's going to be just fine."

"I hope so, Ali. I hope so."

The morning dragged on, and I never thought lunchtime would arrive. When it finally did, Alice pulled me towards the office instead of the cafeteria. "Alice, where are we going and why?"

"We're going to check on Edward," she explained. "I'm worried, and I know you are too. Hi, Mrs. Cope!"

"Well hello, Alice! What can I do for you?"

"Could I please use the phone to call my mom?" Alice asked. "My cousin Edward had surgery this morning, and I just wanted to see how he's doing."

Mrs. Cope smiled. "Of course, dear. Just press nine first."

Alice dialed and waited for Esme to pick up. "Hey, Mom! How did it go?" She paused, listening to Esme's response, and then giggled. "That doesn't surprise me at all! Give him a hug from Bella and me, and we'll see you after school." She was still giggling as she hung up the phone.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

Alice stopped laughing and rolled her eyes. "Typical Edward. He was so nervous by the time he got to the hospital that he had to be knocked out for the biopsy. Thanks, Mrs. Cope!" she called out.

"You're welcome, Alice! Is Edward OK?" Mrs. Cope called back.

"He's fine, thank goodness." Alice waved to Mrs. Cope, and we headed to the cafeteria.

"Is he really fine?" I asked nervously.

"Yes he is," she replied. "The biopsy went well, and he's awake from the anesthesia. They're heading home shortly."

I let out a huge sigh of relief as Alice and I got our trays and made our way to our table.

Emmett obviously knew what his sister had been up to. "Did you call Mom? How's Edward?"

Alice laughed again and explained. "He's fine, and everything went well. Edward was his usual nervous self, though, and had to be put under completely."

Emmett smiled and shook his head. "I'm not surprised. He was pretty scared this morning. I'm just glad it's over."

"Me too," Alice said in agreement. "Now we wait."

Thankfully the afternoon went by a lot faster than the morning had, and Alice and I were soon heading to the Cullen home. I was anxious to see Edward and assure myself that he was indeed fine.

Esme and Carlisle were in the den watching TV when we got to the house. Carlisle assured us immediately.

"Everything is fine," he promised. "Dr. Hunter got a good sample from each area, and hopefully we'll have the results soon. Edward's in his room. He's been sleeping since we got home. I know you're anxious to see him," he added with a smile.

Alice and I called out our thanks and went upstairs. We quietly entered Edward's room without knocking. He was lying on his right side sleeping. I frowned when I saw the small bandage on his neck. I hated to disturb him, but I couldn't help myself. I gently sat on the side of the bed and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

Edward's eyes fluttered open and he smiled. "Hey. You're here," he said sleepily.

I pushed his messy hair out of his face. "Of course I am. I told you I'd be here."

Alice bounded in from the doorway where she had been standing and knelt next to the bed. "How are you feeling? Any pain?"

"I'm a little sore and tired, but I'm OK. I freaked out this morning, though. I was only supposed to have a mild sedative, but Dr. Hunter went ahead and put me under general anesthesia. I think she was afraid I'd freak out even more once she started the procedure. I'm just glad it's over."

"Me too," Alice smiled. "I'm going to leave you lovebirds alone, but I'll be back later." She got up off of the floor, gave Edward a gentle hug, and left us alone.

Edward sat up slowly and opened his arms to me. I scooted next to him and fell into his embrace, careful to avoid where he'd been cut on his left side. He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and sighed contentedly.

"I missed you. I wish you could have been with me this morning. You might have kept me calm."

"It's over now," I told him. "You can relax."

Edward frowned a little. "Yeah but now the waiting game begins. What will the results say? Carlisle seems pretty confident that things will turn out fine, but I still have that nagging doubt in the back of my mind. What if it is something more serious than a lingering infection? What happens then?"

I kissed him to cut him off. "We'll cross that bridge if we come to it."

"I need to find out soon," Edward said. "I'm missing baseball practice because I haven't been cleared to go back yet. Dr. Hunter won't let me play until we find out what's wrong and treat it."

I looked at Edward and smiled. "I do love a man in uniform." Edward laughed and responded by giving me a searing kiss.

"Get a room!" Edward and I broke our kiss and looked up to see Emmett in the doorway looking smug. Rosalie was next to him, laughing.

"Dammit, Emmett!" Edward yelled as he threw a pillow at his cousin. Emmett caught it and tossed it back to Edward and he and Rosalie sat on the bed.

"How are you feeling, hot stuff?" Rosalie asked.

"Tired and sore," Edward replied but then suddenly stopped and held up his right hand. A large bruise had formed on top of his hand.

Rosalie gently grabbed Edward's hand. "Shit, Edward, did the doctors beat you?"

"It's from my IV," he said.

"What kind of needle did they use? I've never seen an IV leave a bruise like this before." Rosalie was shocked.

"I've been bruising really easily," Edward replied sheepishly. "Last week I hit my hip on my nightstand, and it left a huge bruise."

I became worried because I knew that wasn't normal. "Does Carlisle know about this?"

Edward shook his head. "I never really thought about it. I was so worried about everything else." He groaned and fell back on his pillows.

"Hey, don't get upset," Emmett said. "You've had a lot going on. This is probably just happening because your immune system is low from being sick. I'm sure it's no big deal."

"I'm baaack!" Alice came bounding into the room with Jasper right behind her. All thoughts of bruising were forgotten as they climbed on the big bed with the rest of us. We laughed and cut up until it was time for dinner.

Carlisle examined the bruise on Edward's hand, but he didn't seem very concerned. That put all of us at ease, and Edward spent the rest of the weekend recovering.

Edward insisted on driving me to school on Monday, and I didn't argue with him. He showed up at my house fairly early.

I greeted him at the door with a kiss. "Not that I'm complaining, but what brings you over so early?"

"I couldn't sleep. Night sweat," he admitted. "I've been up since 4:00."

I frowned. "Edward, you really need to get your rest."

Edward looked at me sadly. "I know you mean well, but please don't baby me. I get enough of it from Esme and Alice. Carlisle too. Emmett is the only one at home who doesn't treat me with kid gloves."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," I apologized. "I just worry about you."

"I know, and I love you for it." Edward kissed me chastely on the lips, and I led him into the kitchen so I could finish my breakfast.

"Morning, Edward!" Charlie called out from his spot at the kitchen table. "Feeling better?"

"I am," Edward replied. "I'm just ready to get back to school. I need normalcy."

"Don't blame you," Charlie agreed.

"Do you want something to eat?" I asked. "I can fix you something pretty quick unless you want cereal."

Edward shook his head. "I'm really not hungry," he admitted.

I frowned again, but I didn't push the issue since I didn't want Edward to get upset. I finished eating my scrambled eggs, and we left for school.

Edward was self-conscious of the still-bandaged incision on his neck, but not too many people stared. By lunchtime our classmates' curiosity had moved elsewhere.

Unfortunately Edward overslept on Tuesday, so we weren't able to ride to school together. We didn't see each other until lunch. He had a lot of work to catch up on from the school he had missed, so he was going straight home to do homework. He promised to come by my house after dinner.

I did my own homework when I got home from school. It didn't take too long, and I got dinner started for Charlie and me. I had just put some pasta on to boil when the house phone rang. "Hello."

"Bella! Is Edward there?" It was Carlisle, and he sounded panicked.

I suddenly became very nervous. "No. He wasn't supposed to come over until after dinner. What's wrong, Carlisle? You're scaring me."

Carlisle sighed. "We got Edward's biopsy results today." He paused for a moment. "It's cancer, Bella. Edward has cancer ."


	6. Chapter 6 Broken

**Sorry this took so long and that I left y'all with a cliffhanger! I hope this chapter makes up for it and doesn't make you too angry. Huge thanks to my amazing beta BITTENEV. I needed big time help with this chapter, and she whipped it into shape. I love you, Bitt!**

**The song for this chapter is "Broken" by Lifehouse.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own a 24 pound cat on three different types of medicine.**

Chapter 6—Broken

_Carlisle sighed. "We got Edward's biopsy results today." He paused for a moment. "It's cancer, Bella. Edward has cancer."_

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I couldn't speak. I wasn't even sure if I could breathe.

"Bella? Are you there?" Carlisle's voice finally shook me out of my fog.

"I—I'm sorry. I just—I thought you said it probably wasn't…cancer." I could barely say the word.

"I was hoping it wasn't," Carlisle said sadly. "Dr. Hunter called today with the results. Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Esme and I told him when he got home from school, and he was so upset. He just took off from the house. We figured he'd come home before too long since he didn't take his car, but it's been a couple of hours. I need to find him. Please, Bella. Do you have any idea where he could be?" Carlisle's voice was strained.

"I know where he is," I said.

Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness. I'll come by and pick you up."

"No, I'll come to you. He's actually pretty close to home." I knew exactly where Edward was. His meadow. "I'll be right over."

"Thank you, Bella," Carlisle replied, choked up.

I hung up the phone and tried to process what Carlisle had just said. No. He had to be wrong. It couldn't be cancer. I had no idea how I had remained clear headed while on the phone because the only thing that ran through my mind at this point was the word "cancer." This was Edward. He couldn't be sick. I felt sick. I thought I was going to throw up. This wasn't happening.

Then I remembered that Edward was missing. I had to find him and assure myself that this was just a sick joke. I somehow ran upstairs to get my jacket and keys so I could go and find him. On the way down I nearly ran over Charlie.

"Whoa, Bells, where's the fire?"

"I need to go, Dad. Edward needs me. I have to go."

Charlie put his hands on my shoulders to stop me. "What's going on, Bella? What's wrong with Edward?"

"Edward. I have to get to Edward," I insisted.

"Bells, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Where's Edward?" I could hear Charlie talking, but it sounded like he was in a tunnel.

I shook my head to try and clear it. "Edward needs me, Dad! Let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me, Bella. Did something happen to Edward?" Charlie gently put his hands on my face to look at him.

That snapped me out of my daze, and I broke down. "I need to get to the Cullens. Edward has cancer and he ran off and I have to find him. Please let me go." I was sobbing, and I wasn't sure Charlie even understood me.

"Wait, what, cancer?" Charlie was confused.

"Dad, I need to get to Edward." I went to push past Charlie, but he gently took my arm.

"I'll drive you to the Cullens," he said. "I can't let you behind the wheel like this."

Once we were in Charlie's police cruiser speeding towards the Cullen house, I was finally able to explain what was happening.

"Carlisle called. He got the results of Edward's biopsy. He has cancer. He got so upset when he found out that he ran off. I knew where he is, though, and I have to find him." I was sobbing once again.

"You'll find him, Bells," Charlie said soothingly. "You'll bring him home."

The ride to the Cullen house wasn't very far, but tonight it seemed to take forever. We finally did arrive, and I jumped out of the car before Charlie could even turn off the ignition. I ran through the front door and into the den where I found the Cullens and Jasper.

"Bella!" Alice called out as she ran over to hug me. It was the first time I had ever seen her truly upset. "You know where he is?"

"I do. It's a spot he brought me to once. He goes there when he's upset," I explained as I gently broke Alice's hug. "It's a meadow in the woods not far from here."

Carlisle began barking out orders. "Let's go. Emmett, get flashlights. You and Jasper will come with us. Charlie, do you want to come too?"

Charlie shook his head. "Do you really think it's a good idea for all of you to go? Edward's already upset, and you really don't want to ambush him."

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak, but Esme cut him off. "Charlie's right. Edward was very upset when he left. If he sees all of you coming for him, he may try to run away again. I think just Bella and Jasper should go." Emmett began to protest, but Esme cut him off as well. "Emmett, I know you too well. You'll let your emotions get the best of you. Jasper will be a lot calmer. Jasper, will you go?"

"Of course," Jasper replied.

Alice ran out of the room but quickly returned with two flashlights. "Please find him," she said.

Esme quickly hugged me as tears streamed down her face. "Please bring my Edward home," she pleaded.

"We will. I promise," I assured her.

Jasper and I headed out the back door and down the path toward the meadow. I was so upset and scared that I was surprised I was able to remember the way. Jasper radiated calm, though, and I was happy he was with me. He didn't say a word, but his presence alone was reassuring.

The woods were pretty dark, even with our flashlights, but we found the meadow easily. I had been right. Edward was lying there, curled up in a ball.

"You go and talk to him," Jasper whispered. "I'll stay back here until you need me."

I nodded and slowly walked towards the center of the meadow. "Edward?" I called out apprehensively, unsure as to how he'd react.

Edward sat up quickly. His eyes widened when he saw me. "Go away, Bella! I don't want to talk to you!"

I continued my approach. "I'm not going anywhere, not until you talk to me. It's dark and cold out here, and I'm not leaving you."

Edward wouldn't budge. "I said go away! I don't want to talk to you or Jasper or anyone else! Just leave me alone!"

"No, Edward. I won't leave. Let's go home so we can talk." I had no idea how I was so calm on the outside because inside I was a nervous wreck. My heart was beating against my chest, and my stomach was full of butterflies.

"I told you to leave!" Edward yelled before turning his back on me.

I continued to approach Edward anyway and sat next to him. The grass was wet, and I wondered how long he had been lying in it. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, but he continued to ignore me. I didn't care, though. I wasn't leaving.

After what seemed like an eternity, Edward turned and looked at me. I placed my hand on his cheek. "Oh, Edward. We've been so worried. Please talk to me."

Edward began to tremble, and his tears began to fall as he let out a guttural scream. "I'm so fucking mad! Carlisle lied to me! He lied! He told me I was going to be fine! Well I'm not fine! I have cancer! Cancer! My parents are gone, and I have cancer! It's like some kind of sick joke! My parents are dead, and now I'm going to die! Carlisle fucking lied to me! Why would he do that?! Why did he lie to me?! It's not fair! I can't die, Bella! I don't want to die! It's just not fair!" Edward's angry sobs filled the air, and I felt totally helpless.

I finally took both of Edward's hands in mine. "Carlisle didn't lie to you. I'm sure he was just hoping for the best. None of us wanted to think it was anything serious."

Edward began yelling again. "Well it is serious! I was finally getting my shit together, and now I'm going to die! Why didn't anyone tell me I was going to die?!"

"No! You are NOT going to die! You will not leave me! Do you understand?" I would beg and plead as much as I had to.

"It's not fair!" he cried. "When my parents died, a part of me died too. I honestly wanted to be in a coffin next to them. I had given up on life. I just existed. Then you came along, and you began to heal me. You loved me. I love you, Bella, and I never wanted to leave you. Now I have fucking cancer and I'm going to die!"

"You aren't going anywhere," I insisted. "You're going to fight this with everything you have. Cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence anymore. You aren't going to leave me."

Edward pulled away from me. "It's going to be hell, Bella. Carlisle said the cancer was in all of the lymph nodes that were biopsied. Who knows how far it's spread. What if it can't be treated? What if I have just a short time left? I don't want to be in agony."

I took his hands again. "Look at me, Edward," I said sharply. He did. "I love you. Your family loves you. We need you here with us. You can't give up. We'll be with you every step of the way. Fight, Edward! Don't let the cancer win."

Edward fell into my arms and cried. I held him and rocked him gently. When I finally felt him relax a little, I motioned for Jasper to come over. He and I helped Edward to his feet.

"Come on, let's go home," Jasper said softly. Edward nodded and let us lead him back up the trail.

As we approached the house, I saw all of the Cullens along with Charlie and Rosalie waiting. Esme was wringing her hands nervously, but she cried out and ran to us as we got closer.

"Edward!" she cried as she threw her arms around him. "Don't you ever do that to me again! Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just, I had to process it. I'm sorry I ran away."

"Well you're soaking wet!" Esme gently chided. "Let's get you inside."

All of us made our way back into the house and settled into the den. Everyone began talking at once, but Esme insisted that Edward go upstairs to take a hot shower.

"Bella, you're all wet too," Alice noticed. "You should get changed as well."

"I'm fine. I don't need to change," I insisted.

Alice wouldn't budge. "I will not have my best friend die of pneumonia. Let's go." She then used her freakish strength to drag me upstairs to her room.

"Does Jasper know that his girlfriend has superhuman powers?" I quipped as I rubbed my arm.

Alice wasn't amused. "Ha ha. I mean it. I've already got a sick cousin, and I refuse to have a sick bestie." There were tears in her eyes as she spoke. I nodded and hugged her. "Go shower," she insisted. "I'll bring you some dry clothes."

I stepped into the shower, and my emotions hit me like a brick. I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor as my body shook with sobs. I cried until I had no tears left. I couldn't lose Edward. I needed him. His family needed him. I wasn't going to let him give up. I had just found him, and I wasn't about to let him go.

I finally got up and got out of the shower. Alice had left me some clothes, a pair of her pajama pants and one of Edward's t-shirts. I took a minute to inhale Edward's scent before getting dressed and going downstairs.

Edward wasn't downstairs yet, but we didn't have to wait long for him. He came down in pajamas, his hair a damp mess. He joined me on the sofa and pulled me close to him. After a brief awkward silence, he finally spoke. "So, what do we do now?"

Carlisle looked around the room. "Do you want to have this conversation here?"

Edward nodded. "You're all my family. We're in this together. I don't want to hide anything."

"OK. First you have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Denali," Carlisle began. "She's one of the best oncologists I've ever worked with. She'll order some tests and draw blood. I'm thinking she'll want you to have a PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy in order to stage the cancer."

"I guess I'll have to have chemo," Edward nearly whispered.

"Most likely but it's not as bad as it used to be. There are a lot of medications that will ease the side effects," Carlisle explained.

Edward opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. I squeezed his hand in encouragement. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "Am I going to die?"

Carlisle got up from his chair to sit next to Edward on the sofa. He took Edward's hands in his own and looked him straight in the eye. "We're all going to die of something. Will the lymphoma kill you? Probably not. It's actually a very curable cancer. I'm going to make you a promise, though. I will not let this cancer win. I will search high and low and do everything in my power to make sure you get the best treatment possible. I promise you, Edward, as a doctor and your uncle, that I will help you fight this."

Edward gave his uncle a small smile. "Thanks."

Carlisle put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "You are very welcome. Now why don't you get some sleep? Your eyelids are at half-mast."

"Do I have any Xanax left?" Edward asked in a small voice. "I just feel, ummm, I don't know how to explain it."

Carlisle cut him off. "You don't have to explain. I'll bring your pill up to you. And yes, Bella can stay until you fall asleep," he added with a small chuckle.

Edward stood up, and I followed suit. "Good night," he called out to his family.

We went upstairs silently. As Edward turned back the covers and got ready for bed, his eyes never met mine. He just kept his head down. As he finally got situated in bed, he turned and looked at me. "You really don't have to stay ."

"I know, but I want to," I insisted. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

Edward shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I'm sure you don't want a boyfriend with cancer. It's OK, Bella. I understand if you want to break up with me."

I was so shocked that it took me a moment to find my voice. "Why on earth would I break up with you? I love you, Edward. I don't care that you're sick. I want to be with you. Cancer doesn't change a thing." I had to convince him I wasn't going anywhere.

He snorted. "You say that now, but when I lose my hair and end up puking my guts up from being poisoned—"

"I'll be right by your side to love you through it," I interrupted, tears in my eyes.

"You really mean it," he said in shock and awe. "You're really going to stay with me?"

"I do mean it, Edward. I will always be here for you. I meant what I said. I love you."

"I love you too," he said, pulling me into a hug.

We separated a moment later when Carlisle and Esme came into the room. Carlisle had a prescription bottle and a bottle of water. "Here's your Xanax," he said, placing them both on the nightstand. "I'll leave the pills with you so you can take them whenever you need them."

"Thanks and I'm sorry," Edward said.

"Sorry? For what?" Carlisle asked, confused.

"For burdening you with an orphaned nephew who has cancer. I'm sorry you have to deal with me." Edward was looking down at his hands, but I could still see the tears in his eyes.

Esme became angry. "Edward Anthony Masen, don't you dare call yourself a burden! Do you have any idea how much we love you?!" She sat on the bed and took Edward's face in her hands. "I miss your parents so much, but I thank God every day that we have you. You are family, and family members don't turn their backs on each other. We are going to take care of you and not because we have to. We'll do it because we want to."

Carlisle sat next to Esme on the bed. "Edward, I know I will never take the place of your dad, but as far as I'm concerned, you're one of my children. I will always be here for you, and I will keep my promise. I will fight for you, and I will never give up on you. I love you," he added, tears falling down his face.

Edward leaned forward to hug his aunt and uncle, and the tears flowed freely for all of them now. "I love you both. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Carlisle insisted. "Take your meds and get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

Esme and Carlisle left, and Edward took his pill. He crawled under the covers and pulled me close to him. "I'm going to fight, Bella. I'm going to beat this."

"I know, but you need your rest in order to fight. Go to sleep." I kissed Edward softly on the lips and held him until he fell asleep, praying that he'd be able to fight this battle and win.


	7. Chapter 7 Team

Chapter 7—Team

I awoke early the next morning after a fitful night's sleep. Edward's diagnosis had been such a shock. Cancer was the last thing any of us had expected. Unfortunately, Edward did have cancer, and we would all be there for him.

Edward called me before I left for school. Thanks to his meds, he had slept soundly. In fact, he slept so soundly that he didn't even know he had a night sweat. He was getting nervous about his oncologist appointment later in the morning, but I managed to calm him down. He promised to call me after school to tell me about his appointment.

News of Edward's cancer hadn't really spread, which was unusual for a small school. Alice did tell Angela, Ben, and Nessie before school since they were Edward's friends, and they were understandably upset. No one really talked much about it, though. We wouldn't know much about Edward's condition until after his doctor's appointment, and no one was willing to speculate.

School turned out to be an excellent distraction for me. I focused on my work and tried not to worry too much about Edward. I missed him sitting next to me in biology, but I concentrated on taking notes so I could share them with Edward later.

My phone rang as I was getting in my truck after school, and I quickly fished it out of my bag. "Hello."

"Hey." Edward sounded tired, but I was relieved to hear his voice. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too. How did everything go?" I smiled even though Edward couldn't see me.

Edward sighed. "Exhausting. I just woke up from a nap. I promise to tell you all about it later, but I have an emergency appointment with my shrink. I'm getting ready to leave now."

"I really don't like it when you refer to your psychiatrist as a shrink," I chided.

"I'm sorry. It just helps me deal when I can make light of it. Dr. Sanchez really is great. He's helped me so much," Edward explained. "Anyway, do you mind if I come over to your house after my appointment? I really need to get out of my house for a while."

"Of course. You can stay for dinner with Charlie and me."

'"Good. I need some normalcy," he said. "Crap. I've got to go. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you too," I told him as we ended our call.

When I got home, I did my homework then started on dinner. The doorbell rang about 4:30.

"Edward," I said happily as I opened the door. He stepped inside and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so happy to see you," he breathed. "Being near you is so calming."

"I could say the same about you. Tell me about your day," I said as I led him into the kitchen.

"What smells so good?" he asked as I checked the chicken I had on the stove.

"Chicken alfredo and don't change the subject," I admonished.

Edward sat at the table and sighed. "I guess things went as well as they could. Dr. Denali is a little younger than I expected, but she seems to know her stuff. I had so much blood drawn that I'm probably anemic by now. She also ordered some tests to stage the cancer and see how far it's spread. Tomorrow I'm having a chest x-ray, CT scan, and PET scan. I have to have something injected for the PET scan. I'll probably glow in the dark or something," he laughed. "Anyway, on Friday I have to have a bone marrow biopsy."

"More surgery?" I grimaced.

"Not exactly," he replied. "It involves sticking a large needle in my hip bone and taking a sample of the marrow from inside the bone."

I grimaced again. "That sounds really painful."

"I'll be sedated for the procedure, and the doctor will use a local anesthetic before sticking in the needle," he explained. "Unfortunately the bone can't be numbed, but it shouldn't be too painful." He paused. "Do you think Charlie would let you miss school on Friday so you could come to the hospital? I know you can't be with me during the procedure, but I'd feel a lot better knowing you were there."

"I'll talk to him. I don't think he'll mind," I said. "How was your other appointment?"

"Fine," he sighed. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything, but talking to Dr. Sanchez helped some. He wants me to take my Xanax if I need them, but I hate them. He also gave me some strategies to help me cope. So yeah. Enough about that. How was your day? What did I miss at school?"

I knew he needed the distraction, so I told him about my day and what he had missed. I was offering to make Edward a copy of my biology notes when Charlie arrived home.

"Edward! How are you today?" Charlie shook Edward's hand and clapped his other hand on Edward's shoulder.

Edward gave a genuine smile, obviously happy to be treated normally. "I'm better today. The oncologist gave me a rundown of all the tests I'll be having over the next couple of days."

Dinner was ready by this time, so the three of us fixed our plates and sat at the table before continuing our conversation.

"So what kinds of tests are you having?" Charlie asked as we began to eat.

Edward swallowed the bite he had taken and then answered. "Tomorrow I'll be getting scanned all day. PET scan, CT scan, and x-rays. Friday I'm having a bone marrow biopsy. Basically, I'm having a needle stuck inside my hip bone. I'm not looking forward to that one."

"I don't blame you. It sounds painful," Charlie replied with a frown.

"About the biopsy," Edward began. "Charlie, I was wondering if Bella could come to the hospital with me on Friday. I know she'd have to miss school, but I'd feel a lot better if she were there."

Charlie smiled and nodded. "Of course. I don't mind. Bells, you haven't missed any school since you were here, and your last report card was straight As. I think you can afford to take a day off."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "I promise I'll make up the work I miss."

"Thanks, Charlie," added Edward with a smile.

Charlie and Edward began talking about sports after that, so I just smiled and followed along where I could. I tried to shoo both of them out of the kitchen after dinner, but they insisted on helping with the dishes. Edward stayed for a while afterwards and watched TV, but it was obvious he was getting tired. He told Charlie goodbye, and I walked outside with him.

"Thank you," Edward said as he pulled me close to him.

"You're welcome but for what?" I laughed.

"For agreeing to come with me on Friday and for treating me normally," he replied. "If I had been home this evening, my family would have probably walked on eggshells around me. I know they love me and that this is hard on them too, but I just want to be treated like the same old Edward. You and Charlie are concerned, but you still talked to me like I was me, not some poor cancer-stricken teenager."

"You are the same old Edward. Cancer doesn't change the way I fell about you." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him.

Edward deepened the kiss, and I wove my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to me. When we finally broke the kiss, Edward rested his forehead on mine. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too," I told him. Edward gave me one last quick kiss on the lips before going to his car and heading home.

I went straight to the Cullen home after school the next day to be with Edward and see how he had fared with his scans. Charlie, Rosalie, and Jasper were also coming by since Esme was cooking dinner. Esme wanted to get things back to normal.

When I arrived at the Cullens, Carlisle and Edward were watching TV in the den. Edward looked a little loopy, and I became worried. "What's wrong?"

Carlisle laughed. "Someone had a problem with the PET scan machine."

"Hey, I was just a little nervous," Edward countered.

Carlisle laughed even harder. "A _little_ nervous? I believe your exact words were, 'Get me out of this fucking machine.'"

"Oh all right. I was scared," Edward admitted. "I felt claustrophobic and started to hyperventilate. I can't believe I needed a Xanax to get through it."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," Carlisle assured him. "Those machines can be a little scary if you've never had those tests run before. Thank goodness you'll be sedated tomorrow," he added with a chuckle.

"Yeah cause sticking a giant needle in my bone isn't my idea of fun," Edward said. "I guess this is only the beginning of the poking and prodding, though."

"Get used to it," Carlisle told him. "You'll feel like a human pincushion before long."

Dinner was fun as usual. Emmett and Alice kept us laughing the whole time. Edward laughed and joked with his family, and he was visibly relaxed. Near the end of dinner, though, Emmett became serious and cleared his throat.

"Something I've learned through playing sports is the importance of teamwork," he began. Everyone looked around wondering where he was going with this, but we let him continue. "The team has to work together if they want to win. That's the common goal. Beating the opponent."

"That's really deep, Em, but what are you talking about?" Rosalie asked.

Emmett explained. "Well, we have a serious opponent to beat right now. Edward's cancer. He can't do this alone, so we have to work with him. We're a team. Team Edward. If we all come together, we can support Edward and help him kick cancer's ass. What do you think?"

Edward smiled, and his eyes got teary. "I think it's the greatest thing I've ever heard. You're right. I can't do this alone. I need all of you. I'd love it if you were all on my team."

Carlisle raised his glass. "To Team Edward. May we all do our part in kicking cancer's ass!"

Everyone laughed, and Edward and Emmett got up to hug each other. I knew Edward was worried about his family babying him, but I hoped Emmett's speech let him know that we were all in this together.

Team Edward came together the next morning to get Edward off to his bone marrow biopsy. Edward called about 7:00 to tell me that he and Esme were on their way to pick me up. Then Alice called. Edward had had a freak out moment before leaving, and she and Emmett had to give him a pep talk to calm him down. Their talk must have worked because Edward seemed relatively calm when he rang my doorbell a few minutes later.

"Pajamas. That's a good look for you," I teased when I noticed his attire.

"Oh shush," he laughed. "There's really no sense in me getting dressed up to have a medical procedure." He kissed me sweetly and walked me to Esme's car.

"Good morning, Esme," I greeted her as Edward pulled me into the backseat with him. "Where's Carlisle?"

"He has to go to work after the procedure, so he took his own car," she explained. "He'll meet us at the hospital, and he's going to stay with Edward during the procedure. He had a few patients to check on, so he left a little early."

We arrived at the hospital, and Carlisle was indeed waiting for us. After filling out a few forms at the admissions desk, Edward was brought back to the pre op area. Esme and I settled in the waiting room.

Carlisle came out a short while later. "Edward's ready to go in, but I wanted you to see him before he goes." We followed him back to the area where Edward was being prepped. "I should warn you that the sedative is kicking in and he's saying some pretty entertaining things," he added with a laugh.

My heart broke a little when I saw Edward lying in the bed. He was wearing a hospital gown, and a blue cap covered his hair. An IV had been inserted in his hand. His eyes were closed, but he opened them when we approached the bed.

Edward smiled when he saw his aunt. "Esme! I love you soooo much!"

Esme laughed. "I love you too, sweetie."

Then he saw me. "Bella," he slurred. "Come here. I've got a secret." I leaned over to hear what he had to say. "I loooove you the most."

"I love you, Edward, but you are stoned right now," I giggled.

Edward held up his hands and looked at them in confusion. "I'm not stoned. See? My hands work just fine."

The three of us were laughing hysterically at poor Edward when an attractive woman in scrubs walked in the room.

"Judging from the laughter, I'd say someone's good and loopy," she said.

Carlisle stopped laughing and introduced me. "Bella, this is Dr. Tanya Denali. She's Edward's oncologist. Tanya, this is Bella Swan, Edward's girlfriend."

Dr. Denali reached out and shook my hand. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. Edward talked about you the other day when he was sober," she chuckled.

Edward was right when he said Dr. Denali was young. She was absolutely stunning, tall with strawberry blonde curls and deep blue eyes. Carlisle trusted her, though, so I knew she had to be good.

"All right, Edward, are you ready to get this show on the road?" Dr. Denali asked.

Edward looked confused. "Show? We're going to see a show? Can we see the one with the minions? They're pretty funny."

We all laughed again. "I'd say he's ready," Carlisle said.

Esme and I kissed Edward goodbye and went back to the waiting room. I brought a book to pass the time, and Esme did some work on her iPad for her interior design business. Neither of us spoke. I think we were both too nervous.

Dr. Denali came into the waiting room about 45 minutes later. "Edward did great," she said, sitting next to Esme and me. "He slept through the whole thing. I want to keep him in recovery for at least an hour to make sure there's no bleeding and to keep an eye on his pain level. You'll be able to go back there once he's settled."

"When will you have the results?" Esme asked nervously.

"I'll have the biopsy results along with all of the scans when Edward comes in on Wednesday," Dr. Denali replied. "We can also begin discussing treatment options then." She stood up. "I'm going to check on Edward, and I'll see you shortly." She smiled and then headed back to the recovery area.

Esme seemed relieved. "I'm glad he slept. Otherwise he'd have freaked out. My poor Edward. He never freaked out about things before his parents died. This is just too much for him to deal with."

"He's going to beat this," I assured her. "He has to. I need him. We all do." I didn't know if I was saying this for Esme's sake or mine.

"Edward was always quiet but very intense, even as a little boy," Esme mused. "He had this fire inside him, but it burned out when my sister and brother-in-law died. My sweet, passionate nephew became an asshole." I looked at her in shock, and she laughed. "What? It's true. I remember that night the two of you collided on the stairs. I couldn't believe the way he talked to you. It was also the first time I saw that fire in him again. You've brought my nephew back, Bella. He's back, and I can't lose him. I've lost enough, and I won't lose Edward."

I reached over and embraced Esme as she cried silently. It was then that I realized Edward wasn't the only one who had suffered a great loss. Esme was likely hurting more than anyone knew.

"Esme? Bella?" We looked up to see Carlisle entering the waiting room. "Is everything OK?"

Esme wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Yes, dear. Just having a moment. Is Edward awake?"

"He's coming around. You can come back and see him now." We got up, and Carlisle led us to the recovery room.

Unfortunately, Edward wasn't silly or loopy like he was before the procedure. His face was twisted in a grimace. He was obviously in pain.

"Edward!" I cried out, rushing to his side. I brushed his hair off of his forehead and kissed him.

"It hurts," he whimpered.

"Carlisle, do something!" Esme pleaded.

Thankfully, Dr. Denali walked in at that moment. "Is everything OK?"

"Edward is apparently experiencing some pain," Carlisle replied.

Dr. Denali frowned and placed her hand on Edward's shoulder. "I'll get you something." She turned to one of the nurses in the room and spoke softly. The nurse left the room, and Dr. Denali turned back to us. "Hopefully this will help. If not, we may have to admit him to manage his pain."

I sat in the chair next to Edward's bed and took his hand. "It's going to be OK."

Edward's eyes were shut tightly and his face was still contorted in pain, but he nodded slightly. The nurse returned quickly and handed a syringe to Dr. Denali.

"All right, Edward, this should help," she said as she injected the syringe's contents into Edward's IV. "I'll be back shortly to check on you."

I could feel Edward relax a few minutes later as his pain medication took effect. Carlisle and Esme were standing off to the side talking. I remained in the chair next to Edward as his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

Apparently I had fallen asleep as well because the next thing I remembered was Esme gently shaking me. "Bella dear. Wake up."

"How long was I asleep?" I asked as I stretched.

"About an hour. You and Edward both. Dr. Denali will be in soon, and I think she's going to release Edward," Esme explained.

I looked over at Edward. He was awake, and judging by his relaxed facial expression, he was feeling better.

"Hey." He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand.

"Hey yourself. Feeling better?" I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it.

"Yeah. It still hurts a little, but it's not as bad as it was before. I just want to go home," he said.

Dr. Denali came back a few minutes later and, after a quick examination, decided that Edward could be released. She gave him strict instructions to apply ice to the biopsy site to help with pain and swelling and to take his pain medication when needed.

We arrived at the Cullen house a short time later, and Edward went up to his room to rest. He was actually a good patient and followed doctor's orders.

Thankfully the weekend was quite relaxing. I spent time with Edward as well as the girls. He was feeling much better as the weekend went on.

Since he was feeling better, Edward wanted to go back to school on Monday. He knew he'd have to miss classes once his treatment began, and he was anxious for some normalcy. Carlisle agreed that it was an excellent idea.

Edward knew he'd get a lot of pity, but he wasn't prepared for the amount of support he received. Many of our classmates stopped to give Edward their good wishes. As a result, he was able to relax and get back into his routine.

Tuesday was an uneventful day, but I knew Wednesday would be rough. Edward had his appointment with Dr. Denali after school. Today she would be going over his test results and outlining his treatment. I was going to the appointment along with Carlisle and Esme, so Edward picked me up for school.

Carlisle and Esme met us at Dr. Denali's office. She called Edward in first so she could examine him. I brought a book with me, so I read until the receptionist called us back. She led us to a conference room where Edward and Dr. Denali were already waiting. I sat next to Edward, and Carlisle and Esme sat across from us. Dr. Denali sat at the head of the table with Edward's chart. Edward took my hand under the table. His face was devoid of any emotion.

Dr. Denali opened the chart. "I know you're anxious to know what's what. Edward, the type of NHL you have is diffuse B-cell lymphoma. The good news is that it hasn't spread to the bone marrow. The bad news is that the cancer is in the lymph nodes on both sides of the diaphragm and in the spleen."

"Will you need to remove his spleen?" Carlisle asked.

"Probably not," Dr. Denali replied. "We don't like to remove the spleen unless it's absolutely necessary. Anyway, based on the location of the cancer, it's at a stage III."

Carlisle nodded. "Which treatment regimen are you going with?"

"Based on the type of lymphoma and being a stage III cancer, I want to go with R-CHOP," Dr. Denali explained. "Rituxan is a monoclonal antibody. It attaches itself to the cancer cells to help kill them. It's used in conjunction with three chemotherapy drugs, cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, and vincristine. You'll also take large doses of prednisone for five days beginning on the day of your chemo. You'll have chemo once every three weeks."

Esme spoke up. "What are the side effects?"

"Hair loss and nausea are the most common side effects, although now we can often prevent nausea," Dr. Denali began. "We can give anti-nausea meds prior to the treatments. Mouth sores are also common, so you'll want to have a dental checkup to take care of any problems. You're more susceptible to infections, so we can't ignore even the slightest cold. Neuropathy is also a problem. You may have tingling or pain in your hands and feet or even stomach cramps." She paused. "Edward, you're awfully quiet. Do you have any questions?"

Edward just shook his head. "I'm fine. I'm just taking it all in."

Dr. Denali continued. "I'll order some tests to check your heart, liver, and kidney function before you begin chemo. Now I know you probably haven't even thought about being a father, but there's a chance that the chemo may make you sterile. Sperm banking is something you may want to consider."

The look on Edward's face was priceless after that suggestion. I looked across the table and saw Carlisle successfully stifle a laugh.

"Edward, you'll also have to decide how you want your chemo. Do you want a port in your arm or chest?" Dr. Denali asked.

"Chest. I want a central line in my chest," Edward stated emphatically. "It'll be less noticeable there."

"Good. We'll have to set up that procedure. It needs to be done in the hospital," Dr. Denali said.

"What about school? Will I be able to go to school?" Edward asked quietly.

"Yes. As long as you feel up to it, there's no reason you can't go to school. Forks High is small, and cold and flu season is almost over. If you get sick, though, we may have to rethink school." Dr. Denali smiled. "Edward, our main goal is to get you better and to keep things as normal as possible. Cancer and chemo are rough, but being with your family and friends will help you tremendously."

Dr. Denali said she would schedule Edward's test and call with the details. We thanked her for talking with all of us and then headed back to the Cullen house.

Edward was quiet during the ride home, but I decided to let him be. He had just had a lot of information thrown at him and needed time to process it.

When we arrived home, we found Emmett and Rosalie in the kitchen. "What are you two cooking? It smells great in here," Esme said.

"We saw that you had the fixings for tacos, so we decided on that," Rosalie replied. "Em and I figured you could use a break."

Esme hugged both Rosalie and Emmett. "Thank you. I do need a break."

"I'm going up to my room. I need to lie down for a while," Edward said before disappearing upstairs.

Emmett frowned. "How did it go today?"

Carlisle sat at the kitchen table and sighed. "We had a lot of information thrown at us." He then proceeded to explain what we found out today.

"Well shit," Emmett said when Carlisle was finished. "It's going to be rough. I just hope he knows I meant all that team stuff and that we're here for him."

"He does, but this is a lot to deal with," Carlisle replied. "We need to give him the time and space to process it all."

Dinner was ready a short time later, and Edward came down to join us. Alice had gone to Jasper's for dinner, so things were a little quieter than usual. Edward didn't say much. He played with his food and hardly ate at all. He reminded me of the old Edward, the one I had seen the first time I had dinner at the Cullens'.

"Edward, are you feeling all right?" Esme asked, obviously concerned.

Edward just shook his head. "Not really. I just want to take a shower and get in my pajamas. May I be excused?"

"Go ahead, sweetie. I'll come up after we're finished here," Esme replied.

Edward kissed his aunt on the cheek before going to his room. The rest of us went back to eating until we heard a scream and a crash from upstairs. We all got up and ran to see what was going on. We found Edward in his room yelling and punching a hole in the wall. His hand was bloody, and there was a hole in the wall. Emmett grabbed Edward around the waist to stop him. Edward fought back, though, and they both landed on the floor.

"Let me go!" Edward yelled.

"No. You can be as mad as you want, but you are not going to hurt yourself."

Edward continued to fight, but Emmett refused to let go. Finally Edward stopped and began to sob. Emmett just hugged him and let him cry.

"It's OK," Emmett said. "You have every right to be pissed off, but you can't hurt yourself." He motioned for me to come over. I sat on the floor next to them, and Emmett gently placed Edward in my arms.

"It's not fair," Edward cried. "It's just not fair." I held him and rubbed his back to relax him. It took a few minutes, but his tears stopped.

Carlisle slipped out of the room but came back quickly with his medical bag. "Edward, can you sit on the bed? I want to take a look at your hand."

Emmett helped Edward off of the floor and guided him to his bed. Emmett gave him one last hug before he and Rosalie left the room.

I sat next to Edward on the bed, and he leaned against me. Esme went into the bathroom and came back with a wet washcloth. Carlisle took it, pulled up the desk chair, and began to clean Edward's hand. "Not too bad," Carlisle said. "Just bruised and a little scraped up."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't think I was going to put a hole in the wall," Edward apologized. "Please don't be mad."

"We're not mad, sweetie," Esme assured him. "You just scared us. Next time take out your frustrations on something softer."

Edward smiled weakly. "Hopefully there won't be a next time." He paused. "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

Carlisle shook his head as he wrapped gauze around Edward's knuckles. "Unfortunately it's not. Just remember that we love you and we'll get you through this."

"I suppose I'm lucky. I've got Team Edward to help me," Edward said. He pulled me close to him and kissed me chastely on the lips. For the first time all day he seemed to relax.

This experience wasn't going to be easy. I didn't want to see Edward suffer. I'd love him no matter what, though. I was on his team.


End file.
